


I'll Go the Distance

by littlejeanniebean



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drama & Romance, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Gen, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 32,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24130711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlejeanniebean/pseuds/littlejeanniebean
Summary: “Oh, hello, Sirius,” the long-haired, leather-jacketed boy waved his arms around, “it’s so nice to see you out of your mother’s clutches and the London pollution, how was your ride? It was fine, thank you, very much, James, my good friend who is not totally obsessed with the red-headed hitch-hiker.”Or:James and Lily are long distance friends and everyone knows James has a crush on Lily, except, of course, Lily herself.
Relationships: Euphemia Potter/Fleamont Potter, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Mary Macdonald & Marlene McKinnon & Dorcas Meadowes & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black/Mary Macdonald, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 408
Kudos: 187





	1. Wink Wink

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pianistbynight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pianistbynight/gifts), [xo_marauders](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xo_marauders/gifts).



> Guess which newbie figured out how to gift fics?? This one's for you, pianistbynight!!

**WhatsApp Group Chat: The Marauders**

James Potter: GUYS

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

Sirius Black: JAMES WHY ARE YOU USING CAPS??

[live location: London, England]

James Potter: I GOT INTO OXFORD

Sirius Black: Oh, was that all?

James Potter: ASDJFLSJTKSJTJLSGHK

Remus Lupin: Congratulations, James!!! I always knew you could do it.

[live location: Oxford, England]

Peter Pettigrew: Um... I distinctly remember you telling me when you got your letter that there was almost no way James got in.

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

James Potter: REMUS JOHN LUPIN AFTER EVERYTHING I'VE DONE FOR YOU

Sirius Black: So it seems when the caps come on, the punctuation is nowhere to be found… Interesting.

James Potter: AKSHDKSKDHFKSOFH

**WhatsApp Group Chat: WHO RUN THE WORLD**

Lily Evans: I GOT INTO UofE!!!!!!!!

[live location: London, England]

Mary MacDonald: Yes, sisterrrr I've got your room waiting for youuuu

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

Lily Evans: I'M SO EXCITED I CAN'T BREATHE!!!!

Marlene McKinnon: Gonna miss u Lils!!! But hella happy for u xx

[live location: London, England]

Dorcas Meadowes: Sames!! Forever sad you didn't choose ULondon with us :((

[live location: London, England]

Lily Evans: I just can't stomach living under Petunia's roof any longer. 

I mean, I'm paying her rent and she acts like she's doing me a favour.

And she only got the house because she's older!!!

Mary MacDonald: We'll have the best time up here, just you waitttt UofE has the hottest boyyys

Dorcas Meadowes: I contest that on behalf of all Londoners everywhere!!

Lily Evans: Um… education?? Anyone??

Marlene McKinnon: Lils, Lils, Lils… Sweet, naive Lily Evans… U have a lot 2 learn…

Mary MacDonald: Speaking of boys,,,,, did you tell Potter yet?????

Lily Evans: I'm concerned that you felt that question warranted that many question marks.

Marlene McKinnon: U know he's been crushing on u since 4eva!!!

Lily Evans: WE'RE FRIENDS AND I'M FRIENDS WITH HIS FRIENDS AND WE'RE ALL JUST FRIENDS!!!

Mary MacDonald: I'm concerned that you felt that statement warranted all caps and three exclamation points.

Lily Evans: AKDHSKBDKSNRKSND!!!

**Private WhatsApp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

James Potter: guess who got into oxford

Lily Evans: Remus.

James Potter: that's not a guess. you know that already.

Lily Evans: Sirius.

James Potter: really???

Lily Evans: What?? They have excellent music and Russian lit courses.

James Potter: i'm unfriending you on facebook.

Lily Evans: Neither of us are on that.

James Potter: i'm unfriending you on facebook figuratively.

Lily Evans: I'm not sure I completely get that, but I'm rolling with it. 

Congratulations, James!!!

How's Euphemia feeling about her baby boy moving so far away?

James Potter: she's already picking out different colours for my room.

but enough about me, why did mary just ask me if you'd ever mentioned being allergic to down pillows?

Lily Evans: Guess who got into UofE?

James Potter: Mary.

Lily Evans: Haha…

James Potter: hey, if you can't take it, best not shell out…

congrats, lily, i know how much you've been wanting this :)

Lily Evans: You're sweet :)

Hey, so, I'm leaving pretty much asap, maybe I'll have time to pay you a visit?

James Potter: you know where to find me ;)

oh, sirius is going to UofE too, get out of his parents' place… i think you'll like his mode of transportation better than the train.

Lily Evans: ???

_James Potter has sent an attachment._

Lily Evans: I'm in.

James Potter: called it! peter owes me 10 quid!

Lily Evans: But where are our trunks and cases going to go?

James Potter: oh bugger all, now i owe remus 20…

Lily Evans: Serves you right for betting on my reaction to a vintage Harley.

Still want me to visit or is there another bet at stake you'd rather not risk?

James Potter: i'd always risk it for you, lily ;)

Lily Evans: And *this* is why everyone thinks you have a crush on me!

James Potter: ;) ;)

Lily Evans: You're insufferable!

James Potter: xoxo

Lily Evans: I'm going to start packing now.

James Potter: <3

Lily Evans: Ugh, fine. xx.

James Potter: i'll take it.


	2. Very Convenient

**Private WhatsApp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

Lily Evans: Bad news.

[live location: Cambridge, England]

James Potter: how bad?

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

Lily Evans: Like we got pulled over by a cop because Sirius had a shot of tequila to celebrate moving out and was drunk motorcycling.

**WhatsApp Group Chat: The Marauders**

James Potter: SIRIUS ORION BLACK

Sirius Black: Just because I have a tattoo of the grim on my shoulder doesn’t mean I’ll always come when you call.

[live location: Cambridge, England]

Remus Lupin: And yet, here you are.

[live location: Oxford, England]

James Potter: YOU DRUNK DROVE LILY ON A MOTORBIKE YOU PUNK

**Private WhatsApp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

Lily Evans: James?

James Potter: one sec, I’m scolding my so-called mate.

Lily Evans: Oh, ok, I’ll leave you to it, then. It’s not like we now have a train to catch if we want to make it to a nice bed in Scotland tonight now that his motorcycle is impounded.

James Potter: he can text and walk and if he runs into a post or straight onto the tracks, it’ll serve him right for putting you in danger.

Lily Evans: Oh, my knight in shining armour. I’m swooning.

James Potter: see, *this* is why everyone thinks you have a crush on me.

Lily Evans: Literally no one has thought that ever. When it comes to you, my voice is always dripping with sarcasm.

James Potter: oof.

**WhatsApp Group Chat: The Marauders**

Sirius Black: You know, I happen to be one of the best drunk drivers out there. It’s actually a testament to my abilities that Lily didn’t even know I was drunk. 

James Potter: i will hang you myself when you get here.

Sirius Black: Duly noted.

**WhatsApp Group Chat: WHO RUN THE WORLD**

Mary MacDonald: LILYYYY WHERE ARE YOUUUU I’M GETTING WORRIEEEED

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

Dorcas Meadowes: She hasn’t arrived yet??

[live location: London, England]

Marlene McKinnon: Have u tried calling James?

[live location: London, England]

Mary MacDonald: Nooooo, Dorcas, she actually has, but she’s turned invisible, see, so now I don’t know where she is.

Since when does my dorky cousin know anything????

Lily Evans: Since he sent his best friend to drive me in his motorcycle while drunk.

Mary MacDonald: Whaaaaatttttt????

Dorcas Meadowes: ??!!??!!

Marlene McKinnon: Wtf, Lils??

Lily Evans: That came out wrong.

James didn’t know Sirius was drunk.

He just thought I’d like the Harley.

Which I did.

Not so much the getting pulled over.

But Sirius wasn’t really drunk.

He just had one shot of tequila to celebrate his freedom.

We’re on the train now.

See you soon. xx.

Mary MacDonald: Oh, yeah, sure that makes eeeeeverything juuuuust fiiiiine.

Marlene McKinnon: K, but more importantly, James thought u might like 2 ride a Harley, so he just… made it happen???

Dorcas Meadowes: And you’re going to meet him!! Eek!! My OTP is happening!!

Mary MacDonald: I expect detailssss

When do you arrive??? I can pick you up from the station,,,,

Lily Evans: Thanks, Mary!

Mary MacDonald: ?????

I ask again, when do you arrive????

Lily Evans: James is picking Sirius up and your place is along the way so…

[live location: Manchester, England]

Mary MacDonald: EEEEEEEK MY OTP IS HAPPENINGGGGG

Dorcas Meadowes: !! :D :D

Marlene McKinnon: Lils, u sly 1!

Lily Evans: It’s not a big deal!!! He’s coming to pick up his friend!!! It’s just convenient!!!

Dorcas Meadowes: Uh huh.. Very convenient ;) ;)

Marlene McKinnon: V convenient indeed ;)

Mary MacDonald: :)))))))))

Lily Evans: Oh, sod off the lot of you. I don’t even like him that way.

Dorcas Meadowes: Uh huh..

Mary MacDonald: Suuuurrree,,,,,

Marlene McKinnon: whatev u say

**Private WhatsApp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

Lily Evans: Here :)

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

James Potter: i see you :)

you look nice.

i mean well.

not that you don’t look nice.

because you do.

do you still want me to walk over?

Lily Evans: That depends, do you think you’re even capable of handling a face-to-face interaction?

James Potter: no, but i’m willing to attempt it if you are.

Lily Evans: Attempt away, I’ll try my best not to laugh.

“Hey, Lily, nice to see you,” he spoke rather stiffly, going in for a handshake where she went in for a hug.

“Oh,” Lily went in for a handshake just as he went in for the hug, “Er, it’s nice to see you too!”

They did this awkward shoulder-patting, barely a hug thing. 

“Oh, hello, Sirius,” the long-haired, leather-jacketed boy waved his arms around, “it’s so nice to see you out of your mother’s clutches and the London pollution, how was your ride? It was fine, thank you, very much, James, my good friend who is not totally obsessed with the red-headed hitch-hiker.”

“I seem to recall you were pretty glad to have me along as a ‘hitch-hiker’ when it came time to post bail,” Lily crossed her arms.

“Oh, here, let me pay you back,” James fished out his wallet.

“I mean, if you keep a couple grand in there, sure,” Lily chuckled.

“Do you take plastic?” one of his hands flew into his wind-tousled hair, sheepishly.

“Sorry, this is a cash only establishment,” she shrugged, “Seriously, though, it’s fine. Sirius already paid me back.”

“Yeah, speaking of this lad named Sirius, he’s just going to go wait in the car,” Sirius made to back away, but James threw his arms around him in a flying tackle.

“Of course, I’m glad to see you, mate, and you know it,” James clung to him like a child on a piggyback ride and Sirius was happy to oblige.

Lily smiled at how much like brothers they were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is always appreciated (you can also find me @littlejeanniebean on Tumblr!) especially since I have no further directives for this multichap other than "Jily is endgame," "Sirius Black and Mary MacDonald make Lily feel like a third wheel at some point," and "Snape will be a chauvinistic asshole of a lab partner in Lily's Chemical Engineering class."


	3. James-ism #7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily has a numbered system for explaining James Potter to her friends and yet somehow manages to deny that she is in love with him.

**Whatsapp Group Chat: The Marauders**

Remus Lupin: So…

[live location: Oxford, England]

Sirius Black: I'm bored.

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

Peter Pettigrew: Not you! James! Romeo! What news hitherfore oft thine Juliet?

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

Sirius Black: I'm offended both by your blatant disregard of myself and your outright murder of Shakespearean English.

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

Remus Lupin: No, actually, you, Black.

Sirius Black: Finally! Someone appreciates me!

Remus Lupin: Of course, you're the only person I trust to give me an objective observation.

Sirius Black: You know how whenever you say "of course" we just *know* you're scheming?

Remus Lupin: I don't scheme. That's James' job.

Sirius Black: Well, he's actually been acting rather normal lately. Hasn't switched out Monty's shampoo for bleach, hasn't sewn whoopie cushions into Mia's couches…

Peter Pettigrew: Haha! Those were some of his best works!

Remus Lupin: And all it took was one visiting red-head… Interesting.

Sirius Black: So, since you're clearly *not* scheming, what do you suggest I do to… expedite things?

Peter Pettigrew: And me! I can help too!

James Potter: 999.

Remus Lupin: James, if you're going to fake an emergency, at least have the decency not to insult our intelligence by still having proper punctuation and putting a period after 999.

Sirius Black: NO, IT'S A REAL EMERGENCY! WE GTG, BRB

Peter Pettigrew: I'm coming over with emergency baked goods!

Remus Lupin: Good call, Pete.

Sirius Black: AND PUDDING, PLEASE AND THANK YOU!!!

Peter Pettigrew: 👍👍

Remus Lupin: I thought you said it was an emergency??

Sirius Black: No emergency is too great to ignore pudding cravings.

Peter Pettigrew: 👆

Remus Lupin: Why do I associate myself with these idiots?

Sirius Black: Because you love us with all your heart and soul.

James Potter: um… hello?? emergency????

Remus Lupin: It was a rhetorical question.

**Whatsapp Group Chat: WHO RUN THE WORLD**

Lily Evans: I AM NEVER SPEAKING TO JAMES POTTER EVER AGAIN!

Mary, please tell me I can move in now?

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

Mary MacDonald: My door's open, sis ❤❤❤

Which James-ism was it this time????

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

Lily Evans: 7.

Dorcas Meadowes: Ooh, that's bad.

[live location: London, England]

Marlene McKinnon: W/c 1 was 7 tho?

[live location: London, England]

Dorcas Meadowes: Excessive punning.

Mary MacDonald: Noooo, that be 4.

7 is muuuuuch worse.

Marlene McKinnon: Ooh, right, excessive ⚽ talk.

Dorcas Meadowes: No,, that's 5.. Excessive hair-touching??

Marlene McKinnon: No, if he's touching his hair, it's 2, if he's making up excuses to touch Lily's it's 3.

Lile Evans: He told me he loved me, alright!

Dorcas Meadowes: Whoa,, wait,, we don't have a James-ism for that, that much I know!! 

Marlene McKinnon: Y is it bad tho? Boi's 💪 💦🔥

Mary MacDonald: Okay, first of all, ewwwww, that's my cousin we're talking about.

Second, we *don't* have a James-ism for that. 7 is excessive *flirting* which is very different from a wholesome declaration of love that I fully support.

In fact, your room isn't actually ready yet, Lils, sorry.

Lily Evans: WHY ARE YOU TAKING HIS SIDE????? 

AFTER EVERYTHING I'VE DONE FOR YOU!!! 

HOW COULD YOU????

I HAVE TO SIT THROUGH DINNER WITH HIS PARENTS!!!!

HIS. PARENTS.

AFTER I BROKE HIS HEART.

Mary MacDonald: You did whattttt?????

Marlene McKinnon: U did ??????

Dorcas Meadowes: You did whatt??!!

Lily Evans: I told him I didn't like him that way, never mind *love* him.

I mean, how shallow does he have to be?

We've only ever met twice in person including now!

Mary MacDonald: *looooooong suuuffffeerrrriiingg siiiigghhhh*

Okay, clearly, if you stay, you're only going to make things worse, so come on over and we'll talk this out.

Lily Evans: I'm already on your porch.

I'm ringing your doorbell.

Why aren't you answering??

Mary MacDonald: Ummmmmm,,,,,,, I just wanted you to stand out there and think about what you did for a hot minute.

Lily Evans: You were texting Sirius.

Mary MacDonald: How did you know??????

Lily Evans: He's standing right next to me because the place he put down his deposit for lied on their ad.

Mary MacDonald: ?????

Lily Evans: They're cat friendly.

Mary MacDonald: *looooooong suuuffffeerrrriiingg siiiigghhhh*

**Private Whatsapp Chat: Sirius Black, Mary MacDonald**

Mary MacDonald: My window is on the right side from the front…... Second one down. 

Sirius Black: You required that many ellipses to count that?

Mary MacDonald: Or you can try your luck at Holyrood Park????

Sirius Black: Thank you, Mary. I owe you one.

Mary MacDonald: Come on up and pay up then…….

Sirius Black: Omw :)

**Whatsapp Group Chat: WHO RUN THE WORLD**

Lily Evans: Sirius is throwing his things over your fence???

[seen ✔]

MARY, MAYBE GET THE DOOR NOW????

Mary MacDonald: Sorrryyyyyy, coming!

Lily Evans: No, you're not.

Mary MacDonald: No, I'm nottttt :)))

Lily Evans: >:((

"Heeyyyyy," Mary hugged her tightly.

Lily gave her an extra squeeze, "I'm still mad at you."

"But it's pretty good to see me, right?"

"A true sight for sore eyes," her friend declared.

A soft thump came from upstairs.

"That'd be my  _ unregistered _ guest," Mary winked.

Lily made a face, "Please tell me my room isn't next to yours."

Mary pursed her lips guiltily, "I'll just help you take your bags up."

"Yeah, you do that," she shook her head as another muffled thump could be heard, followed by a soft, "Ow."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Comments? *gasps hopefully* Kudos?? Thanks for reading :)  
> Deleted Scene: [You Shook Me All Night Long](https://littlejeanniebean.tumblr.com/post/623730628755603456/deleted-scene-from-ill-go-the-distance-sharing-a)


	4. Walkthrough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one with no texting in it.

“Why did I have to open my big mouth?” James opened said big mouth and shoved a spoon full of rocky road into it while Whitney Houston played on just one setting above silent.

Sirius pinched the bridge of his nose, counted to ten, and determined that he was going to be a good friend and not make  _ any _ smart-ass quips whatsoever about his choice of ice cream and state of his non-relationship with a certain redhead. “Walk me through it one more time?”

_ “Holy shit, when you said your house was big, I didn’t think you meant it was a mansion!” _

_ James winced, taking in the betrayal written all over Lily’s face. _

_ “Do you have a library?” she whispered the final word sacredly as she turned to him, revealing a look of awe that he could easily swing into a I-forgive-you-for-leaving-out-the-fact-that-you’re-stinking-rich-from-our-many-conversations, because, yes, they did have a library and an extensive romantic era novel collection, courtesy of his mother, who was in the publishing business. _

_ “You have the complete works of Charles Dickens,” she breathed, running her fingers delicately along the spines. _

_ “Are you absolutely sure about that chemistry major?” he joked, pushing a rolling ladder her way. _

_ She noticed him, then the ladder, then squealed - actually squealed - and it was the most adorable thing ever and she was so beautiful when she smiled so wide, her freckled cheeks dimpled just so - snap to it, James! _

_ “May I offer you a lift?” he extended his hand to her and helped her onto the ladder and rolled her all the way around the room until she had visited all the shelves and noted down a list of everything she wanted to read because, and this was Euphemia talking, “You must visit whenever you like now that you live here! I’ve always wanted a daughter!” to which he had responded in the typical young adult fashion, “Mom! Jeez…” _

In a more modest house next door to the Potters', Mary MacDonald paced up and down her bedroom floor, while Lily sat cross-legged on her bed, looking appropriately chastised. Not that she believed she was in the wrong, mind you, Mary just tended to have that effect on people. 

“Walk me through it one more time, why does he have to be shallow to be in love with you?”

“ _ Because _ !” Lily wrung her hands in exasperation, “We’ve only ever met  _ once _ in person before yesterday!”

“Quality over quantity, that’s what I always say.”

“You’ve literally never said that.”

“I applied to one university - Edinburgh - and I’ve been accepted on a scholarship. I also say, ‘actions speak louder than words.’”

Lily rolled her eyes affectionately, but asserted, “He doesn’t love me. He  _ can’t _ love me. But I don’t know how to face him as a friend anymore now that he’s said so and clearly believes it!”

It was Mary’s turn to roll her eyes and present Exhibit A:

_ “Oi! You’ve dropped this!” James plucked the Hamilton ticket out of the breeze with incredible reflexes just as it escaped Lily’s coat pocket. _

_ “Oh, thank you!” the redhead received it carefully, noting their uniforms that bore their school emblem - their school, which was in Scotland, “You’re a long way from home, no?” _

_ “Field trip.” _

_ “Last I heard, they tend to do those in groups?” Lily continued to banter as Marlene and Dorcas neared curiously.  _

_ “What can I say? I’m a lone wolf.” _

_ “Except when he’s not,” Mary extended her gloved hand, “I’m Mary, this dorkasaurus’ cousin.” _

Sirius groaned despite his best efforts, “Yes, yes, get to the part where you screw up, mate, come on - I don’t have all day, you know!”

James harrumphed, but skipped ahead to literally five seconds later when Lily attempted to climb down the ladder and fell straight into his arms like a scene from a movie. “I thought it must be a sign!” he said in his defense.

_ “Sorry,” she whispered, one arm thrown over his shoulders, the other gripping his collar harshly. _

_ “You’re beautiful,” he could see his lovesick look reflected in her emerald eyes, but he didn’t care because Lily was blushing and smiling shyly.  _

_ “So does that mean I get a free pass for being clumsy?” _

_ “Any time, love,” he set her down carefully, reluctantly, and only because she had relaxed her grip and pulled her arm back to herself.  _

_ She laughed. _

_ “Did I say something funny?” _

_ “Your such a flirt is all!” Lily shook her head dismissively, even as she continued to giggle, “Even in person, you’re absolutely shameless!” _

_ James frowned and shook his head. Had she thought he was joking all this time? So he told her right then and there that under no uncertain circumstances, he was in love - _

“I still don’t see your point,” Lily crossed her arms at Mary and huffed.

“You will if you let me finish,” her friend tutted.

_ “Shit, we’ve lost James!” Mary turned around the crowded Camden Market.  _

_ “I got this,” said Lily, who cupped her hands and yelled, “What’s your name, man?” _

_ “Alexander Hamilton!” James popped up from behind one of the bake shop stalls with food for them all.  _

_ “Oh, you shouldn’t have!” said Lily. _

_ “Better his money than mine,” Mary scarfed down her sticky bun while Marlene and Dorcas ate theirs delicately. _

_ “What she said,” James grinned, “So tell me, Lily Evans, besides Hamilton and sticky buns, what else do you enjoy when you’re skiving off school?” _

_ “I’ll have you know -” _

_ He raised a cool eyebrow. _

_ “Okay, fine, today was the only day we could get tickets, so we said we had to volunteer at the pet shelter because of an emergency - an old chihuahua, whom we’re all really fond of, was in labour.” _

_ “That’s a good start, but that won’t explain why you needed the whole day off,” James scratched his chin thoughtfully, “The pups are very weak, their mother dies in childbirth and -” _

_ “Wait, what? Why?” Lily demanded to know. _

_ “I’m getting to that - you spent the rest of the day finding them good homes because the shelter is full to capacity and doesn’t have the facilities to care for them,” he smiled, satisfied with himself, “Now, I assume you have the goody-two-shoes credentials to back you so that no one looks at this too closely.” _

_ “What do you take me for, an amateur?” _

_ “Not at all, hence my assumption.” _

_ “You’re a terrible influence, James Potter.” _

_ “Hey, I was just trying to help! Wouldn’t want you getting in trouble... or... anything...” he couldn’t really concentrate when she was looking at his lips like that. _

_ “Wouldn’t we?” Lily teased and he choked on his sticky bun. _

“Too soon! Too soon!” Sirius swiped his spoon and helped himself to the ice cream, “Have some class! Have some  _ chill, maybe _ ?”

James watched as his friend continued to stuff his face with what was left of the dessert, “And what are  _ you _ mourning exactly?”

“The death of your love life.”

“We can banter, so what?” Lily flushed at the recollection. The sticky bun had coated his lips, making them look utterly delectable. “Just because I find a bloke attractive, doesn’t mean I’m going to tell him I love him!”

“Doesn’t mean you have to swear off him either! Knowing James, he’s probably wallowing, eating rocky-road and listening to Whitney Houston.”

The redhead wrinkled her nose, as she often did when she was holding in a laugh, “Why Whitney Houston?”

  
“Go ask him yourself, would you? Before he resorts to blowing up  _ my _ phone instead of Sirius’!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think? :)  
> Find me on Tumblr @littlejeanniebean


	5. Hello, Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Promise me you'll picture the train station scene with romantically billowing smoke and just a few strategic glittery sunbeams.

“Hey, James.”

“Lily! Hey…”

“I was just coming to -”

“Yeah,” he ran a nervous hand through his wild hair, standing outside her door, “same.”

“... Why Whitney Houston?”

“Huh?”

“When… Mary said… when you wallow, you… listen to Whitney -”

“Oh! Uh… you know, you force enough happy energy down your sad throat… nevermind, it’s stupid -”

“No, no, I… Listen, I… might have overreacted -”

“No, no, you reacted just the right amount! I’m the one who - I… I just don’t want you to think I… I’ve been told off for being a flirt before, you know? I just wanted to make sure you knew that I, er, really do care for you… as a friend -”

“Yeah, exactly, same here, that’s why I came to apologize for overre-”

“No need, I’m the one who should be sorry…”

“...”

“...”

“So…” Lily tucked a stray ginger tendril behind her ear - _God, even her ear has those adorable freckles_.

James snapped himself out of it, “I have some last minute packing -”

“Oh, that’s right, you’re… leaving…”

“Yeah… Um… I’ll text you?”

“Yeah.”

**Private WhatsApp Chat: Lily Evans, Peter Pettigrew**

Lily Evans: Hey! Thanks for sending over those ‘Welcome to Edinburgh’ sticky buns! You’re an angel!

Peter Pettigrew: Np! Any friend of James’ is a friend of mine 2!

How r u 2 doing?

Lily Evans: We talked. We’re good. Did the Whitney Houston stop?

Peter Pettigrew: Yea, but now it’s Led Zeppelin, w/c is = concerning b/c it’s his pranking anthem.

Lily Evans: One final hurrah, you mean?

Peter Pettigrew: Woe is every1 he’s leaving behind. I’m going 2 secure my cheese cabinet.

Lily Evans: Have fun?

He just has weird ways of showing he cares… and he really does care for his friends…

Peter Pettigrew: Ik, ik…

Update: he alrdy got 2 it. There are tiny mice everywhere… like u know, the cat toy kind?

Lily Evans: Hahahahaha

I mean, I’m sorry…

But that’s not really so bad, is it?

Peter Pettigrew: Yea

He didn’t have a lot of time to plan on top of wallowing.

Lily Evans: I’m really, truly sorry about that! I just… I didn’t know how to take it!

Peter Pettigrew: I get it 2, don’t worry… James can get… excited.

Lily Evans: Update: He pranked me too.

Peter Pettigrew: What did u get? Sirius just moved in2 James’ old room n the walls r all covered with back issues of _Sports Illustrated_. 

Sirius is leaving them up.

Lily Evans: Hahahahaha

Okay, that actually makes me feel better about mine.

He put a giant teddy bear in my room (I suspect an accomplice in Mary, still gathering evidence) and a note that said: try explaining how you don’t have a crush on me when you decide to keep it.

Like, of course the little arse knows I’m going to keep it. I love big teddy bears. It’s been my dream to own one since I was five. The wanker.

Peter Pettigrew: Sigh… guess there’s no trading u for the toy rats?

Lily Evans: Not a chance, sorry!

**Private WhatsApp Chat: Lily Evans, Mary MacDonald**

Lily Evans: Hey, it’s really not going to be weird at all if I keep James’ teddy bear, right?

Mary MacDonald: Nope, not weird at all,,,,,

Lily Evans: I can never trust you, you know why?

Mary MacDonald: Whyyyyyyy????

Lily Evans: Your excessive repetition, your blatant abuse of power as my unofficial landlady, and the fact that you signed me up for frosh week activities without my consent. 

That and I’m certain you helped your cousin smuggle that big fluffy thing into my room.

Mary MacDonald: You want to know why I can never trust you???

Lily Evans: This should be good.

Mary MacDonald: Your perfectly perfect spelling and punctuation at all times, your blatant ignorance of my foolish cousin’s undying affections for you, and the fact that you lied and told me it was your time of the month and so you weren’t feeling up to said frosh week activities - well, guess who checked the waste basket and found it suspiciously feminine-hygiene-product-free??????????

Lily Evans: You ought to ghostwrite the next Jane Austen novel.

“Your blatant ignorance of my foolish cousin’s undying affections for you.”

That’s gold, Mary, truly. 

Mary MacDonald: I’ve written it in my notebook of witty one-liners by me, thank you,,,,,,,

Lily Evans: See?? That.

What was the point of that?? ,,,,,,??

Mary MacDonald: That’s not the point you should be concerned about……

You’ll love frosh week and by extension, me, your bestest friend in the whole widest world for making you do itttttttt

Lily Evans: That remains to be seen.

Mary MacDonald: You need cool pics for your insta to make a certain bespectacled boy jealous all the way from Oxford……..

Lily Evans: THAT IS A TERRIBLE REASON TO GET DRUNK, PAINT MYSELF IN SCHOOL COLORS, AND PLEDGE SISTERHOOD TO GIRLS I’VE JUST MET!!!

Mary MacDonald: I give up, you don’t need to be convinced, you just need to come, okayyyyy???

Lily Evans: What if I say no?

Mary MacDonald: Then Mr. Fluffy Thing gets itttttt

Lily Evans: You wouldn’t dare.

Mary MacDonald: Try me.

_Lily Evans is typing…_

_Lily Evans is typing…_

_Lily Evans is typing…_

Lily Evans: Fine.

Mary MacDonald: Yayyyyy

“James! Hey!”

He looked up in surprise, “Lily?”

“Did you really think I’d let you go without a proper goodbye?” she ran up to him on the platform.

“I… No?”

“Right answer, but better work on your delivery.”

He chuckled and ran a nervous hand through his wild hair, “Hey, sorry, I didn’t text you. I’ve been -”

“Pranking?”

“I - yeah… I had Dad finding walkie-talkies all over the house today. Every time he thought that was the last one, I’d hide another. It was great.”

“You menace.”

“I don’t know what they’ll do without me.”

“Your mum didn’t get one?”

“She’d skin me alive if I directed one at her precisely and my looks are my best features, you know.”

“Bloody peacock.”

The train sped into the station.

“Do you really want those to stand as your last words to my face, Evans?”

“You mean your beautiful, chiseled, olive-skinned face?” she counted off sarcastically.

Said face lit up in a devilish smirk, “You think I’m beautiful, chiseled, and -”

“I’m just quoting y-”

“I never said -”

“I’ll text you.”

“Why, when you could compliment me to my beautiful, chiseled -”

“Bye, James!” she shoved a tupperware of Peter’s snickerdoodles into his hands, “Peter sends his love.”

“Ah, bless him. Thank you, Evans.”

“I’m just the messenger,” she shrugged.

“... I’ll miss you.”

“... I’ll miss you too.”

He stepped backwards onto the train and was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think, lovelies! <3


	6. Love Potion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is why social media causes anxiety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BIG LOVE TO xo_marauders for being such a lovely cheerleader-beta <3

**WhatsApp Group Chat: The Marauders**

Sirius Black: JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER AND REMUS JOHN LUPIN WHAT THE FUCCCCCKKKKK????? MARY IS GONNA FUCKING KILL ME!!!

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

James Potter: why are you yelling at 6 in the morning?

[live location: Oxford, England]

Remus Lupin: What happened?

[live location: Oxford, England]

Sirius Black: Don’t play dumb with me you party animal disguised as a nerd! All this time! I should have known! How dare you insult our friendship!

James Potter: what are you talking about?

**@petersphotos on Instagram:** Look out Oxford! @glassesarethenewgold @wolfwolf /📷 by me #photography #candids #photographerforhire #nikond3500 #oxford #dormparty

**WhatsApp Group Chat: The Marauders**

James Potter: I CAN EXPLAIN

Sirius Black: CAN YOU NOW?? BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE SUCKING FACE WITH YOUR NEW BOYFRIEND RIGHT AFTER YOU TOLD LILY EVANS YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH HER!!!

Remus Lupin: It was a dorm hazing. We were drunk. Felix dared him. It’s not his fault. 

Sirius Black: THEN I SUPPOSE YOU WOULD LIKE TO TELL THAT TO MARY BEFORE SHE RIPS *MY* THROAT OUT SIMPLY BECAUSE I’M THE MOST CONVENIENTLY ACCESSIBLE!!

**Private WhatsApp Chat: Remus Lupin, Mary MacDonald**

Remus Lupin: Can you unblock me please? I have something important to tell you.

_ Mary MacDonald has unblocked you. _

Mary MacDonald: If it’s that you found yourself a new boyfriend, congratulations. Goodbye, you are dead to me.

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

_ Mary MacDonald has blocked you. _

Remus Lupin: Dammit, MacDonald, it was a dare! We were drunk! I didn’t even know he and Evans had a thing already and he’s not even my type! I can tell her myself if she won’t believe it!

Mary MacDonald: She needs to hear it from James. 

_ Mary MacDonald has unblocked you. _

Mary MacDonald: Now that I know where *you* stand, you shall regain the privilege of speaking to me unblocked. 

Remus Lupin: Much obliged.

**WhatsApp Group Chat: The Marauders**

Remus Lupin: Done. James, she wants you to tell Evans the truth now. 

James Potter: working on it.

**Private WhatsApp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

_ James Potter is typing… _

_ James Potter is typing… _

_ James Potter is typing… _

**WhatsApp Group Chat: WHO RUN THE WORLD**

Marlene McKinnon: Hey, u ok, Lils? We just saw James’ insta...

[live location: London, England]

Lily Evans: Fine! Never better! Why wouldn’t I be? I’m having the time of my life at frosh week!

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

Dorcas Meadowes: That was the loudest cry for help I’ve ever heard..

[live location: London, England]

_ Lily Evans has sent an attachment. _

_ Lily Evans has sent an attachment. _

_ Lily Evans has sent an attachment. _

Lily Evans: I need your help deciding which to post. Mary is… occupied with biting Sirius’ head off and I don’t want to interrupt her. 

Marlene McKinnon: 2

Dorcas Meadowes: 2, definitely!!

**@tiger_lily** **on Instagram:** You know I love an Edinburgh boyy @benjyfences (It was lovely to meet you 😘) /📷 by @oldmacdonald #uni #froshweek #edinburgh

**WhatsApp Group Chat: The Marauders**

James Potter: HELP I’M TOO LATE

I WAS TRYING TO FIND THE RIGHT WORDS TO ASSURE HER OF MY LOVE WITHOUT REMINDING HER THAT IT *IS* LOVE BECAUSE THAT FREAKED HER OUT BEFORE AND NOW I’M TOO LATE WTF DO I DO

Sirius Black: Dig yourself a hole and stay there until it all blows over. That’s what I plan on doing now that my life is in danger, thanks to you.

James Potter: I WAS DRUNK

IT WAS A DARE

FUCKING FELIX WOULDN’T LEAVE ME ALONE

SAID HE’D TELL EVERYONE I WAS A HOMOPHOBE IF I DIDN’T

REMUS WHAT DO I DO

Remus Lupin: I don’t think you need to assure Evans of anything.

James Potter: WHAT DO YOU MEAN

Sirius Black: WTF DO YOU MEAN???

MARY WILL COME FOR ME!!!

I’LL NEVER BE SAFE!!!

REMUS JOHN LUPIN!!!

Remus Lupin: That picture was clearly taken last night as well. It seems you both have mutually decided to move on from the crushes you’ve harboured for each other all through the last two years of sixth form. Good for you.

James Potter: your sarcasm is most unappreciated at this time.

Sirius Black: What he said.

Remus Lupin: You can always just tell her what you just told us about the circumstances behind the photoset. 

James Potter: ok, how’s this:

hey lily, if a guy dares you to kiss one of your best friends on the threat of spreading a rumour that you are a homophobe, you wouldn’t see the harm in doing it, right?

that’s subtle enough, right?

Remus Lupin: I don’t know that “subtle” is the word I would use…

Sirius Black: It’ll do, alright?? Just send it!!! Get your bloody harpy of a cousin off my back!!!

**Private WhatsApp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

James Potter: hey lily, if a guy dares you to kiss one of your best friends on the threat of spreading a rumour that you are a homophobe, you wouldn’t see the harm in doing it, right?

Lily Evans: [seen ✔️]

**Private WhatsApp Chat: James Potter, Peter Pettigrew**

James Potter: peter, my friend, my buddy…

Peter Pettigrew: Y am I sweating when u take dat tone?

James Potter: we need to have a long, serious talk about the candids you take while we’re drunk, ok?

Peter Pettigrew: K! I’m on the train back to Edinburgh now, tho, so…

James Potter: look, we all want to help you gain exposure and get noticed, but just don’t post them without our permission next time, yeah?

Peter Pettigrew: for sure! sorry xx

**Private WhatsApp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

**Private WhatsApp Chat: Lily Evans, Mary MacDonald**

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

**Private WhatsApp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

Lily Evans: Hey, yeah, no harm at all except for letting a bully get the best of you. I expect you’ll be getting him back with one of your infamous pranks, revenge being best served cold and all that.

James Potter: [seen ✔️]

  
**Your order for** **50 dildos** **has been processed and the charges made to the credit card of** **James F Potter** **. It will be delivered to** **Felix Bardin** **as an anonymous gift. Thank you for shopping at Madame Puddifoot’s Online Shop of Romance.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I make you laugh? Cringe? Swoon? Anything??  
> Yell at me @littlejeanniebean on Tumblr or in the comments below :)


	7. Mr. Postman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LDR at it's finest, basically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to my wonderful beta, xo_marauders ❤

**Subject:** Goodbye to Love

**To:** James Potter (jpotter7@oxford.ac.uk), Remus Lupin (relupin@oxford.ac.uk)

**From:** Amelia Bones (ambones@oxford.ac.uk)

Greetings,

It has come to my attention that one of you is “butchering” the electric guitar solo in “Goodbye to Love” by the Carpenters while your fellow residents are trying to study and/or sleep. Gryffindor Hall has some quiet rooms on the main level that you can book for practice or study sessions and I strongly advise you to take advantage of them. 

Your friendly neighbourhood RA,

Amelia

**Subject:** Re: Goodbye to Love

**To:** Amelia Bones (ambones@oxford.ac.uk)

**CC:** Remus Lupin (relupin@oxford.ac.uk)

**From:** James Potter (jpotter7@oxford.ac.uk) 

I’m very sorry, Amelia. It won’t happen again. 

Your friendly neighbourhood Carpenters fan,

James

P.S. Was it really that bad?

**Subject:** Re: Re: Goodbye to Love

**To:** James Potter (jpotter7@oxford.ac.uk)

**From:** Amelia Bones (ambones@oxford.ac.uk)

James,

I’ve only read the report and so am unable to comment on the quality of your playing. However, I did happen to walk by the showers after Ultimate Frisbee when I heard someone singing “Solitaire.” I would like to extend an invitation to that person to join the Gryffindor Acapella group. We meet every Wednesday at 5pm in quiet room 3.

Yours in residence,

Amelia

**Subject:** Re: Re: Re: Goodbye to Love

**To:** Amelia Bones (ambones@oxford.ac.uk)

**From:** James Potter (jpotter7@oxford.ac.uk) 

Thank you, Amelia. That person would like to graciously accept. 

Yours in song,

James

**Subject:** Honours Chem Lab

**To:** Lily Evans (lievans1@ed.ac.uk)

**From:** Severus Snape (sesnape@ed.ac.uk)

Evans,

I have taken the liberty of completing our preliminary lab report in preparation for Wednesday. Please find it attached and read through it so that we’ll be on the same page.

-Snape

**Subject:** FWD: Honours Chem Lab

**To:** Mary MacDonald (macdonald17@ed.ac.uk)

**From:** Lily Evans (lievans1@ed.ac.uk)

I was going to do it tomorrow when I had a free period between Stats and Physics, but I met this arse at lab orientation yesterday and he kept looking over my shoulder, mansplaining the questions I’d write down to ask Professor Slughorn - I could barely pay attention to the actual lecture and demonstration??? And yes, I did read the report and yes, it’s bloody perfect, but I didn’t learn shit because I didn’t get to do shit!!! What do I do, Mary???

**Subject:** Re: FWD: Honours Chem Lab

**To:** Lily Evans (lievans1@ed.ac.uk)

**From:** Mary MacDonald (macdonald17@ed.ac.uk)

Tell him to fuck off and let you do shit like a good lab partner……..

**Subject:** Re: Honours Chem Lab

**To:** Severus Snape (sesnape@ed.ac.uk)

**From:** Lily Evans (lievans1@ed.ac.uk)

Snape,

Thank you for getting a very early head start on this. I found another source that might be of interest. It contradicts one that you had, so I took the liberty of fact-checking and found that one of the co-authors later did her own study that accounted for one of the original study’s limitations and aligns with my new source. Please see the edited report attached.

In the future, I would appreciate it if we could set a time to outline our report together and assign tasks equally between us. 

See you on Wednesday,

Evans

**Private WhatsApp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

Lily Evans: I am going to rip his fucking throat out and use his blood in our experiment on rust.

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

James Potter: [seen ✔️]

Lily Evans: Oh, shit, sorry.

That was for Mary.

_ James Potter is typing... _

James Potter: should I consider myself forewarned?

[live location: Oxford, England]

Lily Evans: Not everything is about you, James.

_ James Potter is typing... _

James Potter: so... what’s everything about then?

Lily Evans: You don’t want to hear about it. It’s fine.

James Potter: noooooo. this is a lie-free zone, lily evans. now that you’ve made plausible deniability impossible for me, i need to talk you out of what is clearly a criminal endeavour.

Lily Evans: So this is all about covering your own arse, huh?

James Potter: a happy side-effect. i’m primarily concerned with saving yours. so spill the tea, my dish cloth is ready.

Lily Evans: Hahahahaha

Thank you. I needed a laugh today.

Are you sure you want to hear about this?

James Potter: i’m deeply invested in hearing about this.

Lily Evans: My lab partner sucks.

Wow, it sounds trivial when I put it that way.

James Potter: noooooo. don’t make this your problem! a good or bad lab partner can make or break your semester. this is why remus and i are taking all our bio labs together.

Lily Evans: Lucky. Mary’s never going to switch to sciences. She says she’d sooner drink laundry detergent.

James Potter: has she??? i’ve heard some weird shit about UofE hazing…

Lily Evans: No weirder than Oxford…

And no, not yet, but the semester is young… 

James Potter: so back to your lab partner. what’s their problem?

Lily Evans: Well, he seemed nice enough at first. Competent, thinks aloud so you don’t have to feel stupid for not being able to keep up with what’s happening. But then he starts mansplaining when you *do* have questions and won’t let you do any of the practical tasks because you didn’t go to a fancy private school with a fancy lab that lets you do shit so you’re prepared for uni labs. 

James Potter: this is probably a dumb question, but have you talked to your prof?

Lily Evans: Not a dumb question at all.

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

_ Lily Evans is typing... _

Lily Evans: I just don’t want to be that kind of person? Be labelled as the bitch who’s difficult to work with, you know? Especially when everyone else in the lab would literally kill to work with him. He’s the prof’s favourite and we had the best results in our first experiment. But the thing is, I’m not here just to fly by on someone else’s credit. I want to LEARN.

James Potter: ok. those are valid points. but you’re wonderful and could never be mistaken as that except by people who are actually that.

Lily Evans: Thanks, James. That means a great deal.

There’s another thing that irks me, but it’s more my problem than his for real this time...

James Potter: what’s that?

Lily Evans: I suggested that we meet to outline all our reports and divvy up tasks. He did the prelim all by himself without consulting me.

James Potter: rude.

Lily Evans: Only I ended up having nothing to contribute to the outline when we talked it over and he said this is why he worked on it himself. I don’t know why I’m so slow on the draw compared to him. And he SCOWLED!!! He actually SCOWLED at me and told me I was wasting his time. He’s not a tutor, blah, blah, blah. He fought me on all the most difficult parts of the report and… God, I’m a coward, I just let him have them? We were working in the science library and I didn’t want to make a scene... So now I’m sat here doing the fucking introduction and conclusion and making sure our citations are formatted and he’s wherever the fuck he is doing actual SCIENCE or maybe not. Maybe he’s finished already and I’m just a fucking idiot. 

James Potter: you’re not an idiot. i know you know you’re not. uni is a bitch. you’re just figuring out how to handle everything. you’ll get to this sick bastard on your own time in a way that you’re comfortable with. and i know you said you didn’t want to, but if it keeps up or gets worse, at least keep talking to your prof on the table, ok?

Lily Evans: Yeah, I will. Thank you so much, James. And I’m so sorry, I didn’t even ask if you were free to talk before I started rambling!!!

James Potter: actually you did and i assured you that i was. i’m always here for you.

Lily Evans: See, this is why everyone thinks you have a crush on me.

_ James Potter is typing… _

_ James Potter is typing... _

James Potter: ha! only you know the truth ;)

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

Lily Evans: Which is?

James Potter: that i love all my friends equally and can’t bear to break their hearts by choosing just one of them to spend the rest of my life with.

Lily Evans: And you’re *positive* you’re not a narcissist?

James Potter: a good psychiatrist never presumes to cure their patient. a disturbed mental state is only “alleviated.”

Lily Evans: Are you paraphrasing Alienist to me???

James Potter: that depends, is it doing something for you?

Lily Evans: Oh my God, please stop.

James Potter: it’s ok, you don’t have to be embarrassed.

Lily Evans: I’m going back to work now.

James Potter: fine, then i’m going back to singing.

Lily Evans: wait, what???

James Potter: i’m currently in acapella group and the lead, who is also my RA, is giving me dirty looks because my phone keeps vibrating. that said, i haven’t missed a note yet.

Lily Evans: I didn’t know you could sing.

James Potter: i’m full of surprises.

Lily Evans: Post a video or it didn’t happen!

**@glassesarethenewgold on Instagram:** we’re coming for you @SlytherinHall! @GryffindorAcapella @ameliasbones @befrankwithme @aliceinwonder @its-me-andy @mollywobbles #pitchperfect #riffoff #uni

**@ameliasbones commented:** I can’t wait to see what you can do when you’re *not* texting your girlfriend in the middle of practice @glassesarethenewgold

**@glassesarethenewgold replied:** ahahaha what makes you think i was texting my girlfriend?

**@aliceinwonder replied:** @glassesarethenewgold No one smiles at their crotch like that no matter how vain they are.

**Private WhatsApp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

Lily Evans: Now normally I would be more upset about being referred to as your crotch, but by gods, that was a brilliant cover of “I Won’t Last a Day Without You.”

James Potter: thank you. and that was alice’s doing, not me. i’m innocent.

Lily Evans: You’re welcome. Technicalities. False. 

James Potter: go do your lab report.

Lily Evan: Nnnnnnggggggghhhhhh.

James Potter: don’t make me text mary.

Lily Evans: I’m going, I’m going. Jeez, Mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please stop to make me feel better, leave me a comment, a kudos, a letter :)


	8. Comedy Class

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Directory:  
> Mary Once Again Convinces Lily To Do Something She'd Rather Not  
> The Best Instagram Handles  
> Why James and Lily Always Text And Never Call  
> Remus and Sirius Bonding Moment  
> The Actual Comedy Class  
> Jily Bonding Moment  
> The Crushing Weight of Assessment  
> Lily and Sirius Bonding Moment

**Subject:** Comedy Class

**To:** Edward Tonks (edtonks@ed.ac.uk), Arthur Weasley (weasley8@ed.ac.uk)

**CC:** Lily Evans (lievans1@ed.ac.uk)

**From:** Mary MacDonald (macdonald17@ed.ac.uk) 

What’s everybody’s instas so we can record the improv live and post in one go?

**Private Whatsapp Chat: Lily Evans, Mary MacDonald**

Lily Evans: Are you insane???

Mary MacDonald: Not clinically…..

Lily Evans: I barely get through our class!

We CAN’T do the improv live on Insta!

You said this was going to be easy!

It’s my WORST subject and that’s saying a lot considering how difficult I’m finding university STEM courses. 

Mary MacDonald: We literally have not been graded on anything other than participation?????

How is this already your worst subject????

Lily Evans: MY PARTICIPATION SUCKS!!!

Flitwick said my delivery was too stiff.

I overthink so I barely get a word in edgewise when we run improv skits.

And he doesn’t like my jokes.

Mary MacDonald: I like your jokes ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Lily Evans: Thank you.

So can we do the improv off insta?

He said we can just make an appointment with him.

Mary MacDonald: Nope :))))

If you don’t like it, I can delete it from my highlights after Flitwick grades it, but we’re doing it on insta and I’m telling all our friends to stay tuned,,,,,,,

Lily Evans: WHAT NO MARY ELIZABETH MACDONALD!!!

Mary MacDonald: Too late…..

**@oldmacdonald on Instagram:** Comedy Crew: @tigerlily @tedtonkstalks @legendofarthur. We’re putting on a little improv show live at 6pm toniiiiiight!!!!! Come and be entertained!!!!!! @profflitwick #improvcomedyfall2019

**@marlenekicksass commented: 😍😍😍😍😍**

**@dorcasisme commented:** You guys are gonna crush itt!!

**@glassesarethenewgold commented:** i’ll be there!

**@benjyfences** **commented:** I can’t wait! You guys always crush class improv!

**@whysosirius** **commented:** @oldmacdonald Why wasn’t I invited to participate??? I’m hilarious despite my deceptive cognomen!

**@petersphotos replied:** @oldmacdonald Same Q as @whysosirius! Wats cognomen?

**@whysosirius replied:** @petersphotos Google it.

**@oldmacdonald replied:** @whysosirius @petersphotos Because this assignment is worth 10% of our final grade and we don’t want you fucking it up for ussssss :))))

**@wolfwolf commented:** @oldmacdonald @tigerlily @tedtonkstalks @legendofarthur Break a leg!

**@tigerlily replied:** @wolfwolf I just might if it means I can defer my grade to the final exam.

**@glassesarethenewgold replied:** @tigerlily just pretend you’re texting me. you’ve never not had the upper hand in any of our conversations.

**@wolfwolf replied:** @glassesarethenewgold But is that a statement to her skill or your incompetence?

**@tigerlily replied:** Dammit @wolfwolf! I was just starting to feel better about this!

**@glassesarethenewgold replied:** it’s ok @tigerlily, i have a backup pick-me-up: just pretend you’re texting @whysosirius. you’ll never have to worry about being the most ridiculous. DON’T SPOIL THIS ONE @wolfwolf

**@whysosirius replied:** But isn’t the point of comedic improv to embrace the ridiculous?

**@tigerlily replied:** Dammit @whysosirius!

**@glassesarethenewgold replied:** dammit @whysosirius!

**@mollywobbles commented:** I’ll be tuning in as soon as I finish knitting club, love! @legendofarthur 😘

**@legendofarthur replied:** @mollywobbles Don’t rush, darling ❤️

**@its-me-andy commented:** @tedtonkstalks you look hot in that pic, babes 🔥

**@tedtonkstalks replied:** @its-me-andy you look hot all the time, babes 🔥🔥🔥

**@oldmacdonald is LIVE: @oldmacdonald, @tigerlily, @tedtonkstalks, @legendofarthur**

Waiting for the time on live, Lily fidgeted with her side braid, then with the buttons on her blouse. When she resorted to tapping her fingers against her glossy lips, James made a pained sound as he tuned in all the way from Oxford. 

“You’d be experiencing a lot less anxiety now if you just FaceTimed her like normal friends,” said Remus sagely. He was currently FaceTiming Sirius, who was trying to make a fillet for dinner and failing miserably. 

“ _ Fuck _ this!” the long-haired boy’s voice was considerably subdued through a device, “I’m ordering Chinese!”

“Do you need help dialing their -”

“I know how a bloody phone works!” he snarled.

“Oh, sure,” Remus bit back, “You just couldn’t manage to flip the camera quick enough for me to keep you from almost setting your new flat on fire. You’d’ve lost your deposit for sure on those grounds, I think.”

Sirius hung up on him.

Unbothered, the tall, brown-haired boy got comfortable on the couch beside James. 

“I don’t understand you guys’ friendship at all,” said the bespectacled boy. 

“Love, hate, and a sprinkle of attitude.”

“More like a bottle.”

“Shh, they’re starting!” 

“I am Mary MacDonald performing the Foreign Film Dub Assignment with Lily Evans, Edward Tonks, and Arthur Weasley,” the brunette raised three fingers and took them down one by one.

Ted and Arthur began to speak gibberish. Ted massaged his temples while Arthur wagged his fingers like an angry parent.

“Dad, you always do this,” Lily began nervously.

“You think your dad doesn’t know best?” Mary continued, “I’ve been wiping your arse since before you were born!”

James and Remus chuckled from where they were watching on the couch. 

At this, Arthur stopped, scratched his head, then frowned deeper.

“You  _ always _ make me watch TV before doing my homework!” Lily dubbed for Ted again.

“Is Big Bang Theory a scientific concept or not?” Mary challenged as Arthur put his hands on his hips.

“Just because the characters are supposedly intellectuals, doesn’t mean the show has educational value!”

“ _ Bazinga _ ! You’ve just defended your argument, good job, son! I’m proud of you! As a reward, I’m going to let you watch the rugby game!”

**Private Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

James Potter: i thought that went rather well :)

Lily Evans: Really??? Honestly???

James Potter: would i lie to you?

Lily Evans: It’s a simple yes or no question!

James Potter: you adjusted your sentence length to however long the gibberish was, you used mary’s joke as a jumping off point to set up an interesting role-reversal that carried the rest of the skit, in short? you did a smashing job.

Lily Evans: [seen ✔️]

James Potter: lily?

did i say something?

_ Lily Evans is typing... _

Lily Evans: Why do you always believe in me?

James Potter: what, like it’s hard?

Lily Evans: Ha! You’re the best!

James Potter: i know.

Lily Evans: Smug bastard.

James Potter: ;)

**Subject:** Improvised Comedy Assignment 1 Grades

**To:** Mary MacDonald (macdonald17@ed.ac.uk)

**From:** Filius Flitwick (flitwick@ed.ac.uk)

Timing: 5/5

Contributions: 5/5

Investment: 5/5

Overall Delivery: 5/5

Comments: Great work, Ms. MacDonald! Your creativity continues to leave me in stitches :’D

**Subject:** Improvised Comedy Assignment 1 Grades

**To:** Lily Evans (lievans1@ed.ac.uk)

**From:** Filius Flitwick (flitwick@ed.ac.uk)

Timing: 4/5

Contributions: 4/5

Investment: 3.5/5

Overall Delivery: 4/5

Comments: Good work, Ms. Evans! A considerable improvement since last week! Remember, don’t overthink it. Comedy is at its best when all the players are having fun :)

**Subject:** Improvised Comedy Assignment 1 Grades

**To:** Edward Tonks (edtonks@ed.ac.uk)

**From:** Filius Flitwick (flitwick@ed.ac.uk)

Timing: 4.5/5

Contributions: 4.5/5

Investment: 5/5

Overall Delivery: 5/5

Comments: Good work, Edward! Remember to vary your improvisations when you can and to pay attention to what your fellow players are doing :)

**Subject:** Improvised Comedy Assignment 1 Grades

**To:** Arthur Weasley (weasley8@ed.ac.uk)

**From:** Filius Flitwick (flitwick@ed.ac.uk)

Timing: 5/5

Contributions: 5/5

Investment: 5/5

Overall Delivery: 5/5

Comments: Great work, Mr. Weasley! You are in your element when it comes to the physicality of comedy! :)

**Private Whatsapp Chat: Lily Evans, Mary MacDonald**

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

**Private Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

**Private Whatsapp Chat: Lily Evans, Sirius Black**

Lily Evans: Do you think I’m funny?

Sirius Black: Generally, no.

Lily Evans: How about when I try to be?

Sirius Black: Even less so.

Lily Evans: Why did I take an Improv Comedy Class???

Sirius Black: This is just a wild guess, but I’m going to say it was to learn to be funny.

Lily Evans: I think something’s wrong with me.

Sirius Black: Lily…

Lily, Lily, Lily...

Everyone has their own brand of comedy.

Take me, for example. My brand of comedy is dramatically over- or under-reacting and occasional insults.

Lily Evans: What’s my brand?

Sirius Black: You and Remus are the same.

Sarcasm up the wazoo.

The drier and more cutting, the better.

Lily Evans: Really?

Sirius Black: No, that was me being sarcastic. Yes, really.

This is not to say you can’t do other types of comedy, but sarcasm might come most naturally.

Lily Evans: Thanks, Sirius :)

Sirius Black: Anytime :)

Lily Evans: Why aren’t *you* taking an improv comedy class???

Sirius Black: Profs usually don’t like it when students know more than them. I figure I’ll be generous and let them hang onto their egos for now. 

Lily Evans: Ha!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I actually funny or have I been deluding myself?  
> Tumblr: [@littlejeanniebean](https://littlejeanniebean.tumblr.com/)


	9. What You Gotta Dough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always to xo_marauders for being a first-rate beta reader <3

**Private Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

Lily Evans: Your dad is pretty cool.

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

James Potter: thank you.

[live location: Oxford, England]

Lily Evans: [seen ✔️]

James Potter: are you just not going to give me context or...??

Lily Evans: Guest lecturer for honours chem.

James Potter: riiiiight, i forgot he did that sometimes.

Lily Evans: He showed us your baby pictures.

James Potter: WHAT

HOW ARE THEY RELEVANT

NVM I DON’T WANT TO KNOW

Lily Evans: How did you have so much hair even as a baby?

James Potter: i solemnly swear, i will end that man’s whole career.

Lily Evans: I took so many pictures.

James Potter: oh god. has he been showing them at every talk for the past seven years??? thank god i didn’t go local.

Lily Evans: *cackling*

What insta filter should I post them with? Gingham looks appropriately nostalgic, I think?

James Potter: i just want to remind you of the voicemail you left me circa summer of 2017 that i still have saved on my iCloud.

Lily Evans: Low blow, Potter.

James Potter: so is using my dad’s entrepreneurial spirit against me.

Lily Evans: But you were such a cute product-testing baby!!! Don’t be selfish and deprive our friends of this pure content!!!

James Potter: and you’re cute when you’re drunkenly telling me all the things you want to do to me the next time you see me. 

so

truce?

Lily Evans: [seen ✔️]

Lily Evans: Fine.

James Potter: did you just try to login to my iCloud?

Lily Evans: No.

James Potter: you’re a terrible liar. it registered a login attempt from edinburgh.

Lily Evans: Maybe it was your mum.

James Potter: she wouldn’t guess the password wrong.

Lily Evans: Ah, so it’s something she would know and know well…

James Potter: you just tried to login again!!!

Lily Evans: You know, I never pegged you for the type to come up with strong passwords.

James Potter: i am insulted.

Lily Evans: How is your weekend going?

James Potter: i just toilet-papered a slytherin’s dorm.

Lily Evans: Amateur.

James Potter: i stuck the paper with superglue.

Lily Evans: You can do better.

James Potter: he was boasting about having a hot date tonight so i arranged the paper into a heart on the bed. like rose petals but, you know, funny.

Lily Evans: Hahahahahaha

James Potter: what are you up to?

Lily Evans: Peter is teaching us (me, Mary, Sirius) how to bake.

James Potter: oh no. are you ok? should you be multitasking right now?

Lily Evans: Eh, you should see the other guy. The other guy being Sirius.

_ Lily Evans sent an attachment. _

James Potter: hahahahaha i gotta show remus.

Lily Evans: You do that. I gotta barricade myself. It’s an all out cookie dough war over here.

**Whatsapp Group Chat: The Marauders**

_ James Potter sent an attachment. _

Remus Lupin: Ha! Ickle ghostie. 

[live location: Oxford, England]

Sirius Black: Sure, laugh all you want. When I die fo real, Imma haunt yo arse first.

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

Remus Lupin: Ha! Ickle gangsta.

Sirius Black: Up yours, nerd.

Peter Pettigrew: U lot have 0 respect 4 d art of fine cuisine!

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

James Potter: I respect the hell out of your snickerdoodles, Petey, you know that.

Peter Pettigrew: I do, thanks J!

Remus Lupin: I just changed my insta profile pic to Sirius covered in flour and waving a chocolate-covered spatula.

Sirius Black: Fine, I still look hot anyway.

**Whatsapp Group Chat: WHO RUN THE WORLD**

Mary MacDonald: Today has been enlighteningggg

Lily Evans: I was there and I have no idea what you’re talking about. Please elaborate.

Mary MacDonald: Sirius Black and I just aren’t compatible,,,,

Marlene McKinnon: wut?

[live location: London, England]

Dorcas Meadowes: Whaat?? How??

[live location: London, England]

Lily Evans: Is this because he insisted that you misread the recipe and turned out to be right?

Mary MacDonald: Mayyyyyyybe??????

Lily Evans: Mary, you’ve got to be wrong *sometime*, you know that, right?

Mary MacDonald: Yeahhhhhhh, obviously, but he didn’t have to call me out like that!!!!!!

Marlene McKinnon: Did he save the 🎂?

Mary MacDonald: It was cookies, but yeah,,,,,

I don’t actually mind that he called me out, ok????? Like, I’m a big girl, I can take criticism. I’m a *writer* I’m used to it!!!! But he didn’t have to start an all out food war????? 

Like, I used to think his childishness was endearing, you know???? Like never growing out of things is cool and all, but………

Dorcas Meadowes: It’s not what you need right now..

Mary MacDonald: Yesssss exactlyyyyyy

But I don’t know how to tell him that without him taking it personally?????

Like, he can be…. so…. emotionally codependent???? And like, it’s not his fault at all that his parents were shitty af, but……. I need someone who can ground me, while still sharing ambitiousness and who still knows how to have fun……..

And I feel like an absolute bitch for being pickyyyyyy?????

Gahhhhhh girlsssss what do I doooo????

Lily Evans: First, be absolutely sure about how you feel. 

Mary MacDonald: It was hard to see it when we were long-distance, but now that we see each other everyday,,,,,, yes, I’m sure.

Marlene McKinnon: Then clearly define the situation u want 2 end up w/

Mary MacDonald: I still want to be friends with him……… I want him to be happy, like, in a truly happy relationship. Not one where we just snog or shag and then……… don’t do any other couple-y things???? Or just be a happy single…... And I want that for me too.

Dorcas Meadowes: Then tell him both those things.. How you feel, what you want to happen, and ask him how he feels and what he wants to happen..

Mary MacDonald: I’d better bring some of Peter’s pudding……

Marlene McKinnon: 👍💡

Lily Evans: Do you want me to stand in the background for emotional support?

Mary MacDonald: Yes, but I think it’s better if I did it alone…..

Lily Evans: Ok, xx.

Dorcas Meadowes: YOU GOT THIS MARY!!

Sirius looked through his peephole and smirked as he opened the door, “Couldn’t stay away for long?”

Mary squared her shoulders and narrowed her eyes, holding the pudding Tupperware closer to her chest. Then she decided that was too much on the offensive and leaned casually against the doorframe instead. “Can we talk?”

“I thought we already were?” he joked.

“About us?”

The boy ran a hand through his long hair, face falling immediately, “Are you breaking up with me?”

“What? No! I mean - shit,” she steeled herself, “Yes, but -”

“Then we have nothing to talk about,” he shrugged so aggressively it looked like he was trying to throw his shoulder out.

“Sirius -”

“Night!” he smiled with false brightness and slammed the door in her face.

Mary sighed helplessly, “I’ll just leave the pudding out here!”

“Thank you!” he yelled back as the air quickly began to rush out of his lungs and his eyes began to water.

_ Nobody wants you. _

_ Stop that, you’re being ridi- _

_ Nobody wants you. _

_ Stop. Stop. Stop. _

_ Nobody - _

**Whatsapp Group Chat: The Marauders**

Sirius Black: 999

James Potter: What’s up, mate? Do you want to FaceTime instead?

Remus Lupin: Get a cup of water, tea if you’re feeling up to making it, make a blanket burrito, and answer your goddamn phone.

Peter Pettigrew: I’m outside ur apartment w/ pudding. Wats the emergency?

Sirius Black: Mary broke up with me.

**Private Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Mary MacDonald**

James Potter: i heard you broke up with sirius???

why???

are you ok???

he's not ok.

**Private Whatsapp Chat: Lily Evans, Remus Lupin**

Remus Lupin: I’m not going to insult your friendship with Mary by asking if you knew she was breaking up with Sirius, but I am going to question your friendship with Sirius by asking if you knew what it would do to him? What the fuck, Evans?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, let it out, yell at me :)  
> Tumblr: [@littlejeanniebean](https://littlejeanniebean.tumblr.com/)


	10. Lily-ism #7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on IGtD: Mary breaks up with Sirius and Remus takes it out on Lily...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> special thanks to my wonderful beta, xo_marauders 😘

**WhatsApp Group Chat: The Marauders**

Sirius Black: I feel better today.

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

James Potter: if you’re lying i will hunt you down and swaddle you myself.

[live location: Oxford, England]

Peter Pettigrew: I just met Lily-ism #3 in the lift

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

James Potter: lily on a mission? coming or going?

Sirius Black: Here.

“It’s open,” the long-haired boy called from the couch.

“Hey,” the redhead tiptoed in, “I just… wanted to… come by… and you really should lock your door - you live in an apartment across the hall from boys whom I suspect smoke -”

“Come by to what?”

“Sorry?”

“You said you wanted to come by,” his voice just barely held some resemblance of intonation, “Come by to what?”

“To check on you. Mary said you didn’t… she didn’t get a chance to explain -”

“What’s there to explain? She doesn’t want to be with me. That’s a valid feeling - a very valid feeling -”

“Sirius -”

“Lily-ism #7.”

“What?”

“It’s… it’s just something James started and… well, you’re doing it right now.”

“Doing what?”

“Taking responsibility for a problem that you didn’t create.”

“... I do feel responsible… Remus agrees -”

“Remus?” Sirius blinked in surprise.

Lily waved it off and took a tupperware of lasagna from her backpack, “I know it’s your favourite -”

“Thank you,” he whispered, unable to listen to anymore. The boy didn’t understand himself sometimes. He was perfectly willing to wallow in self-pity, but not receive it from others.

“I also brought Queen, Wham!, and Tragically Hip,” she dumped their entire discography in the form of CDs out of her bag, “I thought we could have a listening party.”

“Don’t you have that chem paper -”

Lily grimaced, but with determination rather than regret, “The perks of having a control freak for a lab partner. My arse is covered. What should we listen to first?”

**Private Whatsapp Chat: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin**

Sirius Black: Thanks for the lasagna.

Remus Lupin: This isn’t Sirius-ism #3 is it?

[live location: Oxford, England]

Sirius Black: No, it’s not a coded cry for help. I genuinely feel better after eating some lasagna and a little red bird told me you had something to do with it.

_ Remus Lupin is typing… _

_ Remus Lupin is typing… _

Remus Lupin: Oh?

Sirius Black: It really shouldn’t have taken you that long to type ‘Oh?’

_ Remus Lupin is typing… _

Remus Lupin: Oh?

Sirius Black: Remus-ism #5.

Remus Lupin: I’m not familiar with that one.

Sirius Black: Pretending to be stupid. Badly.

Remus Lupin: Oh?

Sirius Black: That’s not funny.

Ok, it kinda was.

But what did you do?

Remus Lupin: The more pertinent question is what alternate universe are we in and how do we leave?

Sirius Black: I'm afraid there's no getting out of this one, old boy.

Remus Lupin: You're older than me.

Sirius Black: And don't you forget it, now spill. We'll mop it up later like we always do.

Remus Lupin sent an attachment.

Sirius Black: Remus, you monster.

I love you.

You did that for me??

I love you.

You, Mr. Nice-Pants, went apeshit on my behalf. 

It was misguided, I'll grant, but it's like that meme.

"Boi's confused but he's got the right idea."

Let me find it for you.

Have I mentioned that I love you?

Remus Lupin: You're not mad?

Sirius Black: Like I said, we'll mop it up later.

"It's open!" Lily looked up from her chemistry notes splayed across the foot of her bed.

"You ought to lock your door," Sirius smirked, "You have quite the heartbreaker of a housemate."

"Heyyyy," Mary called over the blowdryer she held to her head, sticking her tongue out at him from the washroom across the hall. 

"So you two talked?" Lily sat up eagerly, "You're good?"

The former couple shared a look and spoke in unison, "Yeah, we're good."

"It'll take more than a break up to ruin - what's it now?" Sirius slung an arm around the Scottish girl, "Four years?"

"I'll get you something nice for our anniversary," Mary quipped.

"Oh!" Sirius held up a six pack of beer, "What do you say we pre-game and karaoke bar hop? Start the weekend off right?"

"Ooh, can we go to that 80s place?" Lily perked up.

"The one with the mic that makes you sound like helium when you try to hit the high notes?" 

"... Yeah?"

The boy grinned, the sparkle back in his silver eyes, "We'll even go there first!"

**Private WhatsApp Chat: Lily Evans, Remus Lupin**

Remus Lupin: I'm so sorry. I was out of line. Sirius is… He might be the oldest of us, but… Nevermind, it doesn't excuse what I said. I know you care about him and would never do anything to hurt him. You have an even greater right to his friendship than me, especially after what I did. I'm really sorry, Evans.

Lily Evans: Lupin... I didn't respond to your text at first because when I read it, it hit me that I should have realized how it would play out… You're a great friend. To all of us and especially Sirius. 

Remus Lupin: I shouldn't have put you in that position! According to Sirius, Remus-ism #1 is taking shit for problems I didn't create and I'd never wish that mental state on anyone. It sickens me that I've been the cause of it for you… I'm sorry and I'm sorry I can't stop apologizing. I fucked up. 

Lily Evans: All is forgiven!!! :)

Apparently that's also Lily-ism #7. Sirius also told me…

Don't feel bad anymore, okay??

All is well with us. All of us <3

Remus Lupin: Thank you.

I miss Scotland so much.

Wales was the worst and I was so happy when James got into Oxford and I might have tried to play it cool and ended up playing it too cool to the point of sarcasm - that's Remus-ism #2.

Lily Evans: Ha! That's Lily-ism #1! 

Or 2… 

I can't remember… 

Sirius gave me a very scattered run-down of the whole list.

Remus Lupin: Are you drunk?

Lily Evans: What?? Are *you*? 

You're not usually this talkative.

It's great!!!

I like getting to know you!!!

Remus Lupin: I like getting to know you too :)

Also, re: drunk: getting there.

Lily Evans: Same…

Our friends are terrible influences…

Remus Lupin: Ha! Go have fun, Evans.

Lily Evans: Lily :)

Remus Lupin: Remus :)

Lily Evans: You go have fun too!!! 

Tell James I said hi.

Remus Lupin: Oh, he's going to love that.

Update: he loved that. See for yourself.

_ Remus Lupin sent an attachment. _

Lily Evans: [seen ✔]

Lily Evans: Ithinkinkshes jusyhcy.*

Remus Lupin: Ihabfeadeeking.**

* I think he’s juicy.

** I had a feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK??


	11. You Can't Hurry Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which James Potter is a dolt yet again, but he's our dolt.

**@glassesarethenewgold on Instagram:** we won! @GryffindorAcapella vs. @SlytherinHall i love you lot, @ameliasbones @befrankwithme @aliceinwonder @its-me-andy @mollywobbles #pitchperfect

**@tigerlily replied: 🎵** She said love don’t come easy 🎵 No, it’s a game of give and take 🎵

**@tigerlily replied:** Congratulations to my favourite acapella group!

**@whysosirius replied:** Love the matching outfits, guys.

**@wolfwolf replied:** @tigerlily @whysosirius Check my highlights for the last thirty seconds missing from this video.

**@glassesarethenewgold replied:** @wolfwolf!!! 😭💔

**@tigerlily replied:** James fell off the stage??? Hahahahaha

**@tigerlily replied:** I mean, are you okay, @glassesarethenewgold?

**@whysosirius replied:** Bahahahahaha @glassesarethenewgold! @wolfwolf that angle is gold, mate!

**@glassesarethenewgold replied:** i hate you all.

**@tigerlily replied:** Psshhh, you love us, @glassesarethenewgold.

**@whysosirius replied:** Some of us you love in very special ways. @glassesarethenewgold @tigerlily

**@glassesarethenewgold replied:** @whysosirius this is your last warning. if you think for one second i can’t prank your arse from oxford, just you try me and see.

**@whysosirius replied:** I remain forever yours in anticipation, @glassesarethenewgold. 

**Private Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Sirius Black**

_ James Potter sent an attachment. _

Sirius Black: Oh, you want to fight dirty?

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

James Potter: I learned from the best.

[live location: Oxford, England]

_ Sirius Black sent an attachment.  _

Sirius Black: Your move.

_ James Potter is typing… _

James Potter: Truce?

Sirius Black: Wise choice. 

**Whatsapp Group Chat: WHO RUN THE WORLD**

Lily Evans: I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

Mary MacDonald: It’s after 5 on a Wednesday, so I have to assume we’re referring to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?????

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

Lily Evans: No, the honour of that title is reserved for our asinine lab coordinator, Riddle. And oh, do I have a bone to pick with him about our last lab exam. It was total shite and our poor TA agreed it was ambiguously worded at the best of times. 

Marlene McKinnon: So wat did 🐍 do dis time?

[live location: London, England]

Lily Evans: We were supposed to discuss our experimental results with our lab partners, right? 

Only I came up with the right answer before Sn*pe did this time. FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!

But when Slughorn got around to asking us to share with the lab, Sn*pe spoke up without raising his hand like I did.

Dorcas Meadowes: Aw, hell naw!!

[live location: London, England]

Lily Evans: Then Slughorn went on and on about how smart and thoughtful that conclusion was.

Well, it was MINE!

Mary MacDonald: Lils, this is university, if other students speak out of turn, so do youuuuu

Lily Evans: I know, I know.

But now Sn*pe is all, ‘You wanted to do more work on our reports, right? I can let you do this one yourself since it was your *brilliant* idea, after all.’

BULLSHIT, IT’S MIDTERMS WEEK, YOU FUCKING TOERAG!!!

And oh, *now* we’re acknowledging that it’s my idea, are we???

Marlene McKinnon: Wat r u doing about it?

Lily Evans: I don’t know! I’m scared to call his bluff because what if neither of us does it? This is our major report worth 30% of our grade! 

Mary MacDonald: What would Elle Woods do?

Lily Evans: Go into law instead.

Dorcas Meadowes: Yes, but no..

Lily Evans: Treat herself to a spa day so that she can start thinking clearly again.

Marlene McKinnon: ☝️👂💯👍

Lily Evans: What?

Dorcas Meadowes: Whaat??

Mary MacDonald: She said that sounds more like it.

Marlene McKinnon: ✔️

**Private Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

James Potter: is this a good time?

Lily Evans: I’m in a bubble bath with my nails drying and a face mask on.

_ James Potter is typing…  _

_ James Potter is typing…  _

James Potter: so… is that a ‘yes’ or a don’t-bother-me?

Lily Evans: Yes.

James Potter: my bio lab is literally the worst.

Lily Evans: I take it back.

James Potter: ok, it’s cool.

Lily Evans: Wait.

James Potter: [seen ✔️]

Lily Evans: Why is your bio lab the worst?

James Potter: formulas. my brain is two more ratios away from exploding, i swear. 

i’m switching to psych arts. i don’t care what remus says.

Lily Evans: And not caring what Remus says has always ended well for you?

James Potter: at this point, i think he’ll actually be with me on this one if it puts a stop to my whinging.

Lily Evans: Social Sciences are cool.

James Potter: you only ever use the word ‘cool’ when you think something is the exact opposite of cool.

Lily Evans: You’d be good at it!

James Potter: i’d be good at something you think is a waste of time and money?

Lily Evans: James, this is *your* life. Not mine, not Remus’.

_ James Potter is typing… _

_ James Potter is typing… _

James Potter: [seen ✔️]

Lily Evans: What are you thinking?

James Potter: i’d tell you, but it would ruin your great impression of me.

Lily Evans: Please don’t be sarcastic about that. You know I think very highly of you. The social sciences can be important if done right and applied to *real* issues, which I know you will tackle… alongside some frivolity too, but such is the spice of life and all that.

James Potter: the more time i spend out here, the more i think i’m not ready for it.

Lily Evans: ‘It’ being?

James Potter: doing whatever i’m going to be doing for the rest of my life. like if i die at twenty, the world wouldn’t have lost much because i had no ambitions.

Lily Evans: Bullshit.

James Potter: so you call…

Lily Evans: I *do* call!

You were the captain of your lacrosse team! You didn’t win interdivisionals without ambition!

You were in every school play since you were thirteen! You didn’t earn those parts without ambition!

James Potter: all that proves is that i peaked in sixth form. 

Lily Evans: Lots of people have ambition, James. Few of them actually do anything worthwhile because their sense of it is limited, or it fades, or gets corrupted. 

You’re steadfast and incorrigible. Things might not be going your way right now, but you’ll make them.

James Potter: [seen ✔️]

_ James Potter is typing… _

_ Lily Evans is typing... _

Lily Evans: It’s one of the things I love about you. [message not sent]

James Potter: thanks, lils. that… actually helped. a lot.

promise not to be mad when i reverse psychologize you?

Lily Evans: You’re welcome, but no.

James Potter: eh, it was worth a shot. how is your lab?

Lily Evans: Eh, it hasn’t made me hate chemistry yet. 

Wow, the things a mid-week spa day does to you.

I’ve done what I can to resolve it. I should have done it ages ago, honestly. 

James Potter: ok, let me know how it goes?

not that i have any doubts. you’re as solid a bet as they come, evans.

Lily Evans: Thanks, Potter :)

**Subject:** Re: Lab Partners

**To:** Lily Evans (lievans1@ed.ac.uk)

**From:** Benjy Fenwick (fenwick@ed.ac.uk)

Hey Lily,

Jeez, I knew he’s been giving you a hard time, but I didn’t know it was that bad. Yeah, we’ll talk to Sturgis together. He seems pretty chill, I think he’ll allow the switch! If not, we’ll go over his head to Riddle and I know he’s scared of him!

At your service,

Benjy

**Private Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

Lily Evans: Sorted! My new lab partner is Benjy Fenwick and we get along fabulously.

Also, we just aced our major report.

I feel like dabbing, but Mary’s gone and done it for me and it looks ridiculous so I’d rather not.

James Potter: do it anyway and post it in boomerang format on insta.

Lily Evans: In your dreams.

James Potter: i’m happy for you.

**Whatsapp Group Chat: The Marauders**

James Potter: wtf, lily’s new lab partner is benjy fucking fenwick!!!

Sirius Black: The fencer? Eh, you could take him.

Remus Lupin: Oh, yes, that will certainly make Lily fall for you. Beating up the guy who helped save her lab grade and is making her uni life less miserable overall.

Peter Pettigrew: Prank him?

James Potter: yes!!! finally!!! someone with good ideas!!!

Remus Lupin: Terrible ideas.

James Potter: remus, can i borrow your old email address?

Remus Lupin: NO.

James Potter: you never use it anymore, please?

Remus Lupin: I will not be roped into this.

James Potter: fine. you’re a better man than i am.

**Subject:** Purchase Receipt

**To:** Arnou Moon (mistermoony@gmail.com)

**From:** The Science Shop (receipt@scienceshop.uk)

Mr. Moon,

Your order for  10 gallons of slime has been processed and the charges made to the credit card of  James F Potter . It will be delivered to  Mary MacDonald . Thank you for shopping with us.

Sincerely,

Customer Service

The Science Shop

**Whatsapp Group Chat: The Marauders**

Sirius Black: Ah, yes, the old “plausible deniability.”

Remus Lupin: WHAT. THE. FUCK. JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER, I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE.

Peter Pettigrew: Y do I get the feeling he won’t b living there 4 long?

Sirius Black: Because the wolf is on the hunt.

**Private Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Mary MacDonald**

James Potter: hi cousin!

Mary MacDonald: What do you wanttttt

James Potter: i just sent you ten gallons of slime to put into every crevice of Benjy Fenwick’s living quarters.

Mary MacDonald: He lives at home with his nan?????

James Potter: oh, then in his car?

Mary MacDonald: He buses…….

James Potter: no, he doesn’t. i’ve seen his insta. he has a restored impala.

Mary MacDonald: Cousin,,,,,,, dear sweet cousin,,,,,, I’m trying to save you here!!!!!!!!!

James Potter: what? a little slime never hurt anyone!

Mary MacDonald: I know Lily’s told you about switching lab partners. I gave her my trademarked squint when she said it was no big deal to you, but she made up all kinds of excuses for you, obviouslyyyyyy 

James Potter: wait, excuses? why would she need to make excuses for me? i haven’t done anything!

yet.

Mary MacDonald: “He won’t be jealous…….. He’s got *nothing* to be jealous of!”

James Potter: oh.

Mary MacDonald: Yeah,,,,, “oh.” 

James Potter: i want to put that fucking fencer in his place even more now. 

Mary MacDonald: Nooooooooo, what you want is for Lily to fall as hopelessly in loooooooove with you as you are with her…..

So nix the slime, k?????

James Potter: fine. can you put it in my storage cupboard up at the house? i might find a use for it in the future...

Mary MacDonald: Oh-hoooooo, no!!!!! You sent it to me and I know a few choice arseholes who deserve slime in their lockers,,,,,

James Potter: sn*pe and r*ddle?

Mary MacDonald: Bingooooooo

James Potter: make sure sn*pe gets the neon pink and r*ddle the neon orange. 

Mary MacDonald: Whyyyyy?????

James Potter: sn*pe made some anti-feminist comments on his twitter a few years back and r*ddle has this weird aversion to orange (some girl on ratemyprof complained and gave him a 0 star rating)

Mary MacDonald: You’re hella creepy, you know that???????

James Potter: like you’re not. it runs in the family.

Mary MacDonald: Whateverrrrrrr

He’s not that great of a fencer, btw,,,,,,

Lost his first uni match….

James Potter: that makes me feel a bit better about myself, thank you.

oh god, i’m sick. lily deserves so much better.

Mary MacDonald: Oh, hush, you’re always such an emotional wreck when you’re jealous, I swear…..

James Potter: thanks for talking me down.

Mary MacDonald: Make me godmother and we’ll call it even ;)))))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly though, how's the pacing of this fic going for you guys? Are you enjoying it? Are you wondering where the heck it's going? Do you have ~theories~ as to where it's going? Characters you'd like to see more of? Tell me, tell me, tell me!


	12. Brownies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three cheers for my beta, xo_marauders for binge-reading these like I chaotically binge-write them!!

**Private Whatsapp Chat: Peter Pettrigrew, Unknown**

Peter Pettigrew: Ur brownies await u, sir!

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

Unknown: Thank you, your payment is available.

Peter Pettigrew: thx!

**Subject:** Disciplinary Action Notification

**To:** Peter Pettigrew (pettigrew@ed.ac.uk)

**From:** Dolores Umbridge (umbridge@ed.ac.uk)

Mr. Pettigrew,

It has come to my attention that you are aiding in the sale and distribution of drugs on campus. Your inquiry is scheduled for this Friday at 3:00 PM in my office and I advise you to answer all questions honestly. 

Dolores Umbridge

Open Studies Dean

University of Edinburgh

**Subject:** Re: Disciplinary Action Notification

**To:** Dolores Umbridge (umbridge@ed.ac.uk)

**CC:** Albus Dumbledore (dumbledore@ed.ac.uk)

**From:** Peter Pettigrew (pettigrew@ed.ac.uk)

Professor Umbridge,

Regrettably, this email ended up in my spam folder. I would very much like to clear my name immediately; however, I must attend to a family emergency today and I would be grateful if we could reschedule. My Art and Design professor, Albus Dumbledore knows me well and can vouch that I will present at the rescheduled date and time. 

Sincerely,

Peter

**Private Whatsapp Chat: Peter Pettigrew, Unknown**

Peter Pettigrew: Who snitched on me?

Unknown: I don’t know what you mean.

Peter Pettigrew: My dean is up my arse about cooking 4 u, dammit! Who fucking snitched or do u want 2 lose me permanently?

Unknown: I think you overestimate your vitality to our operation.

Peter Pettigrew: Bullshit. I’ve been doing this since sixth form, u’ll never find a better man 4 the job.

Unknown: I already have. 

Peter Pettigrew: [seen ✔️]

**Subject:** Re: Re: Disciplinary Action Notification

**To:** Peter Pettigrew (pettigrew@ed.ac.uk)

**CC:** Albus Dumbledore (dumbledore@ed.ac.uk)

**From:** Dolores Umbridge (umbridge@ed.ac.uk)

Mr. Pettigrew,

This is a very serious offence. I have spoken to your professor, not that it has any bearing on the accusation. Your inquiry is rescheduled for Saturday at 10:00 AM. 

**Subject:** Re: Re: Disciplinary Action Notification

**To:** Dolores Umbridge (umbridge@ed.ac.uk)

**From:** Peter Pettigrew (pettigrew@ed.ac.uk)

Thank you so much for accommodating my circumstances, Professor Umbridge. 

**Whatsapp Group Chat: The Marauders**

Peter Pettigrew: 999. 

Lads, some1’s framed me!

_ Peter Pettigrew sent an attachment. _

James Potter: fuck, it’s umbridge. she doesn’t take inquiries lightly. 

what did dumbledore say?

[live location: Oxford, England]

Peter Pettigrew: Just answer honestly, but that’s bull, innit? She’s gonna crucify me!

Remus Lupin: She can’t do it without evidence. Was any planted on you?

[live location: Oxford, England]

Peter Pettigrew: Some1 switched out some of my baking ingredients w/

_ Peter Pettigrew is typing… _

Peter Pettigrew: W/ idk wat, but it’s not for baking!!!

Sirius Black: If they broke into your flat, there’ll be evidence of that too. I can pop around and take a look.

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

Peter Pettigrew: No need. I… might’ve been renting 2 flatmates who’ve all checked out 4 fall break.

Sirius Black: Fine, make sure you mention that. That you weren’t the only one with access.

James Potter: otherwise, dumbledore’s right, just answer honestly, pete. and if she decides out of favour with you, my mum is a great lawyer and you’ll be back in time for the last half of the term. 

**Subject:** Disciplinary Action Notification

**To:** Sirius Black (sirblack@ed.ac.uk)

**From:** Minerva McGonagall (mcgonagall@ed.ac.uk)

Mr. Black,

You have been accused of aiding in the sale and distribution of drugs on campus. Your preliminary inquiry is scheduled for Monday at 3:00 PM in my office. 

Minerva McGonagall

Dean of Arts and Humanities

University of Edinburgh

**Whatsapp Group Chat: The Marauders**

Sirius Black: Peter, no offence, but what the fuck did you say at your inquiry?

_ Peter Pettigrew is typing… _

_ Peter Pettigrew is typing... _

Peter Pettigrew: They said because I didn’t issue receipts 4 rent, have any formal contracts, n my renters paid in cash, I couldn’t prove that they were even living there in the first place. 

James Potter: that’s bull. there are other ways to verify that someone is living someplace. they’re just trying to scare you into admitting something.

Sirius Black: But what did *you* say, Peter?

_ Peter Pettigrew is typing… _

_ Peter Pettigrew is typing… _

_ Peter Pettigrew is typing... _

Peter Pettigrew: After that, they asked who else had ever been in my kitchen. I told them I had you, Evans, and MacDonald over once for a baking lesson, but you lot couldn’t have done it. 

James Potter: fuck, i have to warn lily.

Sirius Black: Fuck, that means I have to warn Mary. She’s gonna blow a gasket.

Remus Lupin: No!

If they know more than they’re told at their inquiries, it could look badly on them.

It won’t matter the truth of where they got the information. 

They weren’t involved. 

They just need to answer honestly. 

From what I can tell, McGonagall and Sprout are better deans than Umbridge. 

James Potter: ok.

Sirius Black: Ok.

Peter Pettigrew: I’m really sorry about this! I was so nervous, I wasn’t thinking!

Sirius Black: It’s alright, Pete, it’ll all blow over soon. 

James Potter: and better that it’s brought up in preliminary than in public. 

**Subject:** Disciplinary Action Notification

**To:** Lily Evans (lievans1@ed.ac.uk)

**From:** Pomona Sprout (psprout@ed.ac.uk)

Ms. Evans,

You have been accused of aiding in the sale and distribution of drugs on campus. Your preliminary inquiry is scheduled for Monday at 3:00 PM in my office. 

Pomona Sprout 

Dean of Science

University of Edinburgh

**Subject:** Disciplinary Action Notification

**To:** Mary MacDonald (macdonald17@ed.ac.uk)

**From:** Minerva McGonagall (mcgonagall@ed.ac.uk)

Ms. MacDonald,

You have been accused of aiding in the sale and distribution of drugs on campus. Your preliminary inquiry is scheduled for Monday at 3:30 PM in my office. 

Minerva McGonagall

Dean of Arts and Humanities

University of Edinburgh

**Private Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

Lily Evans: Hey, is Peter mixed up in something?

James Potter: you’ve finished your inquiry?

Lily Evans: Literally a second ago. I’ve been cleared. 

James Potter: good. someone is framing him for selling and distributing drugs on campus. what a load of tosh, eh?

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

Lily Evans: They have CCTV of him making scheduled backpack drops to a gym locker. 

James Potter: they have footage of him putting a backpack in his locker?

Lily Evans: I know it sounds weak when you put it like that, but he wasn’t paying for the locker. Someone else was and the student union files are a fucking mess, no one seems to know who’s paying. 

I’m going to meet Sirius and Mary. Their inquiries are back to back right about now.

We’ll compare notes.

James Potter: i’m glad they cleared you. i’d never forgive myself if they’d managed to make something stick. i told peter to just be honest and it’s better that you’re cleared in preliminary than public, but the fact that you were even dragged into this at all makes me sick. i’m sorry. 

Lily Evans: Don’t be. It’s not your fault. You advised him correctly. Talk soon.

**Enclosed in a bakery-scented envelope:**

**_Professor Umbridge,_ **

**_Thank you so much for allowing me to clear my name, although I deeply regret the costs. It seems one never truly knows even those held closest. Please accept these chocolate chip cookies as a token of my appreciation. I look forward to finishing the term in your faculty._ **

**_Sincerely,_ **

**_Peter_ **

**Subject:** Inquiry Results

**To:** Sirius Black (sirblack@ed.ac.uk)

**From:** Minerva McGonagall (mcgonagall@ed.ac.uk)

Mr. Black,

I regret to inform you that you are temporarily suspended pending further investigation. Please meet me in my office on Wednesday at noon for a second inquiry. 

Minerva McGonagall

Dean of Arts and Humanities

University of Edinburgh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun Dun DUNNNNN!!! (feel free to yell at me)


	13. Frenemies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my wonderful beta, xo_marauders 😘😘

**Whatsapp Group Chat: The Marauders**

_ James Potter has removed Peter Pettigrew from the chat. _

**Whatsapp Group Chat: The Sirius Black Protection Squad**

Benjy Fenwick: I’ve got it!

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

Lily Evans: Hit me.

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

Benjy Fenwick: It’s so simple!

Remus Lupin: Lay it on us!

[live location: Oxford, England]

Benjy Fenwick: Sirius was only ever in Peter’s flat for baking lessons, right?

Lily Evans: Yes.

Benjy Fenwick: And he was always there with Mary, right?

James Potter: until they broke up. 

[live location: Oxford, England]

Benjy Fenwick: Dammit. 

James Potter: yeah. 

[live location: Oxford, England]

**Whatsapp Group Chat: The Fuck Peter Pettigrew Squad**

Mary MacDonald: You will neverrrrrr fucking guess who’s paying for that locker,,,,,,

Remus Lupin: Who and are you sure?

Mary MacDonald: Positiveeeee. And I have students who’ve given signed corroborative testimonies!!!!

James Potter: and they can’t argue that those statements were given under duress?

Mary MacDonald: I’m not a monster…...

Lily Evans: Tell us. 

Mary MacDonald: Riddleeeeeeee

Lily Evans: No fucking way. 

Actually, nevermind, I can totally believe that the guy’s shady. 

**Whatsapp Group Chat: The Sirius Black Defense Squad**

Lily Evans: We have a problem.

Mary MacDonald: We talked to Riddle,,,,,

Lily Evans: He maintains that Sirius is his cook. 

Remus Lupin: Fuck.

James Potter: double fuck.

_ Benjy Fenwick is typing... _

Benjy Fenwick: Lily, remember that time we saw Riddle and Snape talking outside the lab?

Lily Evans: When we were early for once, you mean?

Benjy Fenwick: Yup, wanna bet Snape knows something?

Lily Evans: Hell yeah.

**Private Whatsapp Chat: Lily Evans, Severus Snape**

Lily Evans: I know you know my friend is innocent. 

Severus Snape: He has a criminal record.

Lily Evans: Petty. He was a minor. He did community service. 

Severus Snape: I wouldn’t put this past him. You need to be more careful about the people you surround yourself with. 

Lily Evans: I am careful. I ditched you before I drowned, didn’t I?

Severus Snape: I was only doing what you wanted me to. I don’t understand why you adamantly refuse to accept my help when you are clearly in need of it and then get mad at me when I stop offering. 

Lily Evans: You’re twisted. You’re in bed with Riddle and Peter. You know Sirius is innocent. You need to testify. 

Severus Snape: Suppose I did know something, why would I incriminate myself?

Lily Evans: If you come forward, McGonagall is offering temporary suspension for the remainder of the term and community service in its place. You can even earn credit still. 

Severus Snape: I need to see it in writing. 

_ Lily Evans sent an attachment. _

Severus Snape: [seen ✔️]

Lily Evans: Meet me at her office right now. 

Severus Snape: I have class in two minutes. I’ll meet you there in an hour. 

Lily Evans: Fine. 

Severus Snape: And I’ll need you to help me keep up with our class since I’ll be suspended, but I’ll still have to take the exam. Not just notes, but actual tutoring. 

Lily Evans: Fine. 

**Whatsapp Group Chat: The Golden Trio**

Sirius Black: McGonagall just called me to her office. Said it's urgent. I know you two have been up to something. 

James Potter: nothing to worry about, old thing. 

Sirius Black: You know when you call me “old thing” that’s how I know you’re lying to me. 

Remus Lupin: For god’s sake, man, don’t text and walk.

Sirius Black: How do you know I’m walking?

Remus Lupin: You always do that and then say things like, “I tripped over the curbside, haha!”

Sirius Black: I ran into a wall, haha!

**Whatsapp Group Chat: The Revenge is Best Served Right Fucking Now Squad**

Lily Evans: I’m outside McGonagall’s office with Sirius. Will update. 

Mary MacDonald: Totally not paying attention in lecture right now and with you in spiritttttt!!!!

**Whatsapp Group Chat: The Golden Trio**

Sirius Black: I’m cleared. 

Remus Lupin: Of course you were!

James Potter: i told you there was nothing to worry about! what changed?

Sirius Black: Your ickle girlfriend turned the tables on Riddle and Co. That’s what. 

**Whatsapp Group Chat: The Revenge is Best Served Right Fucking Now Squad**

Lily Evans: His suspension is lifted. 

Remus Lupin: Of course it was! He’s innocent!

Benjy Fenwick: Yes!!! I knew you could do it, Lily! 

What did you do?

Mary MacDonald: 5Ws and H?????

Lily Evans: I just had a friendly conversation with Snape, who decided to come forward. 

Now Peter is going to be expelled for selling and distributing *and* framing another student.

_ James Potter has added Sirius Black to the chat.  _

James Potter: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY BEST FRIEND 

Lily Evans: [seen ✔️]

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

_ James Potter is typing... _

James Potter: I LOVE YOU [message not sent]

Lily Evans: Of course! He’s one of my best friends too :)

Sirius Black: Aw, shucks, you guys. I’m blushing. xx.

I owe you all big time. 

Mary MacDonald: You don’t owe us a thing. You would’ve done the same for any of us. 

Remus Lupin: Wait, as much as I want to start celebrating, I’m confused. Snape just agreed to come forward after you… what? Appealed to his conscience?

Lily Evans: Something like that.

James Potter: but not *exactly* like that?

Lily Evans: He’ll be suspended, but he’ll still need to take his finals at the end of term so I’ll be tutoring him, that’s all. 

Benjy Fenwick: I’ll do it, Lily. If tutoring is really all he wants, it won’t make a difference to him who his tutor is. When are you meeting him?

Lily Evans: I can’t ask you to do that, Benjy. 

Benjy Fenwick: You haven’t asked, I’m offering. I don’t like the way he keeps finding excuses to come to our side of the bench and… the rest. Are you meeting him after our lecture on Friday?

_ Lily Evans is typing... _

Lily Evans: Yes. 

Benjy Fenwick: :)

Lily Evans: Thank you, Benjy. You’re the best. 

**Private Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

_ James Potter is typing… _

_ James Potter is typing… _

_ James Potter is typing... _

James Potter: lily, i just wanted to say thank you again for everything you did for sirius. and dealing with sn*pe… i know how much that guy bugs you, but you faced him anyway… and agreed to continue facing him… i just... thank you. i owe you and you can’t convince me otherwise. 

Lily Evans: It’s no problem, James. Really. And be careful, I might hold you to that one of these days :)

James Potter: i look forward to it. 

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

James Potter: yes, i know this is why everyone thinks i have a crush on you.

Lily Evans: Ha! Beat me to it, you cheeky monkey. 

James Potter: Ooh-ooh, ah-ah!

Lily Evans: XD

**Private Whatsapp Chat: Lily Evans, Mary MacDonald**

Mary MacDonald: What is this “rest” that Benjy is alluding to?????

_ Lily Evans is typing... _

Lily Evans: It’s a tight bench. Sometimes you… brush against people when you move. 

Mary MacDonald: Lily Evans!!!!! You know better than to stand for that kind of behaviour!!!!!

Lily Evans: Slughorn had him move benches after a scene three weeks ago.

Mary MacDonald: Good…..

**Private Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Mary MacDonald**

James Potter: hey, do you know anything about snape bothering lily in the lab? like what benjy kinda mentioned in the group chat?

_ Mary MacDonald sent an attachment. _

James Potter: fuck that sick bastard! fuck, i should have gone local! screw oxford! then i’d give him what for! 

Mary MacDonald: Look, I know you’re my cousin and all,,,,,, but I think I prefer Benjy’s way of handling itttt

_James Potter_ _is typing…_

_James Potter_ _is typing…_

James Potter: good for benjy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All was well... Okay, *most* things were well. Hope you liked it! Let me know :)


	14. Raise Your Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have some quality wolfstar! xx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always goes to xo_marauders for her A+ beta-ing!

**Crisis Text Line Log 06/29/18**

Unknown: I’m going to kill myself. I have a razor. I’m in a very nice bubble bath. I’m going to do it.

Remus Lupin: But then you wouldn’t get to enjoy your bubble bath. You might be familiar with the saying, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. What’s your name?

Unknown: Call me Padfoot. You make a good point about the bubble bath. I might wait until the water gets cold at least. 

Remus Lupin: Hello, Padfoot. I’m Remus. Is there someone you can call or would like me to call?

Unknown: No. 

_ Remus Lupin is typing… _

Unknown: I’m sorry, that was rude. How long have you been doing this for?

Remus Lupin: This is my first night, actually. They only allow “adults” to do this sort of thing. 

Unknown: Shit. Sorry. Shit, you’re only eighteen? Fuck.

Remus Lupin: Don’t apologize for seeking help, that’s what I’m here for. And I’m very mature for my age. It annoys the crap out of my friends. How about you, is this the first time you’ve thought about suicide?

Unknown: No. The first time was when I was thirteen. I’m eighteen too. 

Remus Lupin: I’m sorry. Do you want to talk about it, Pads?

Unknown: It’s nothing new. My parents are shit, but they have influence, so there’s nothing I can do. I’m trying to move out, but they’re making it impossible. Freezing accounts, intimidating landlords and potential employers and the like. I tried to take my little brother with me, but they’ve… turned him against me. 

Remus Lupin: What’s the reach of their influence? England? U.K.? There’s got to be somewhere to go. 

Unknown: England, but mainly London as far as I know. They don’t trust me anymore, so I can’t be sure.

Remus Lupin: I used to live in Scotland and it is lovely this time of year.

Unknown: You don’t say…

Remus Lupin: I do say. I still have friends in Edinburgh who can help you find your way around. 

Unknown: You are a very unorthodox crisis texter. You’re supposed to sweet-talk me down from the edge, not offer me practical support. 

Remus Lupin: Well, is it working?

_ Unknown is typing... _

Unknown: Yes.

_ Remus Lupin sent an attachment. _

Remus Lupin: That’s my friend’s number. His mother’s a lawyer too and she does a lot of pro bono work, so if your parents manage to follow you to Scotland, you can have at them how you will. 

Unknown: Can I ask you a question, Remus?

Remus Lupin: Shoot.

Unknown: Are you an aspiring psychologist? (If not, you should consider it. Seems like you’d be good at it.)

Remus Lupin: I am actually, how about you? Do you have any aspirations? Or things you enjoy?

Unknown: I like reading Russian literature. Reminds me that my family isn’t half as messed up as some others. Keeps me sane, most of the time. But now I’ve got you, eh?

Remus Lupin: You do have me. Any time. 

Unknown: Right, my water’s gone cold. It’s time to plan a prison break.

Remus Lupin: That’s the spirit. 

**Private Whatsapp Chat: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin (2019)**

Sirius Black: Almost getting expelled from the place I’ve come to call home has made me reassess my priorities. I want to live a life with no regrets and that starts by living it honestly. Remus, from the first time I texted you, I wanted to get to know you. And once I did, I thought you were the wittiest, chillest, kindest person I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. I’ve always believed there are no rules when it comes to who you love and I love you. I think I’ve always loved you… from the very first text. I just wanted you to know that.

[live location: Liverpool, England]

Remus Lupin: i JuSt WaNtEd YoU tO kNoW tHaT. You *know* I’m a sucker for sappy declarations of love, you arse! I don’t know what you mean by telling me I’m witty and chill because those two might as well be strangers to me right now. Furthermore, I’m not kind, you just have very low expectations, please raise them for your own emotional wellbeing. Additionally, what are you doing in Liverpool? Finally, you are the funniest, coolest, most honest person I’ve ever known and I love you too. 

[live location: Oxford, England]

**@whysosirius on Instagram:** The boys are back! @wolfwolf @glassesarethenewgold #oxford #fallbreak

**@glassesarethenewgold commented:** i make a dashing third wheel.

**@wolfwolf replied:** Positively spiffing, @glassesarethenewgold!

**@tigerlily commented:** Please get off the roof @whysosirius @glassesarethenewgold

**@oldmacdonald commented:** @wolfwolf @whysosirius!!!!!!! My OTP is happening!!!!!!!!!

**@marlenekicksass commented:** We need 2 go on a double date ASAP! @dorcasisme @whysosirius @wolfwolf

**@dorcasisme replied:** Yess!!

**@whysosirius replied:** Just name the time and place!

**Whatsapp Group Chat: WHO RUN THE WORLD**

Lily Evans: Excuse me, when were you going to tell us???

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

Mary MacDonald: Yeah!

[live location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

Dorcas Meadowes: Tell you what??

[live location: London, England]

Marlene McKinnon: That we’re dating, luv.

[live location: London, England]

Mary MacDonald: Yeah!

Dorcas Meadowes: Well.. we just kinda.. assumed everyone would notice our new insta descriptions??

Marlene McKinnon: But they’re actually supes vague so totes get y u guys didn’t know. Our bad!

Lily Evans: Congratulations, you two!!! Your emoji declarations of love on insta are too cute!!! 🌼 ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🌻 forever!!!

Mary MacDonald: Yeah!

_ Mary MacDonald is typing... _

Mary MacDonald: Wait, holy shit, what????????? Hell yeahhhhhh oh my god this is the best day of my lifeeeeeee I love you guyssssss 

Please let me be bridesmaid at your weddingggg

Pretty pleasseeeeee

Dorcas Meadowes: I knew something was up when you first said ‘Yeah!’ with just one exclamation point. 

Marlene McKinnon: Same. Spill.

Lily Evans: Who else are you texting right now?

Mary MacDonald: No one,,,,,,

Lily Evans: BENJY FENWICK!!! IT’S BENJY FENWICK, LADIES!!!

Marlene McKinnon: 👍👦🔥

Dorcas Meadowes: I approve!!

Mary MacDonald: Thanksss,,,,,,,

It’s just casual though….

We’re both prioritizing our education…..

Lily Evans: But???

Mary MacDonald: But nothingggg!!!! He’s just a sweetheartttt, it’s actually kinda scaring me….

Marlene McKinnon: Only u would have that reaction 2 ur s/o treating u rite…

Mary MacDonald: I’m insane,,,, we’ve established that…. And he’s chill - he *fences* for crying out loud!!!!! And I just found out he speaks Spanish?????? It’s like he studied up on all my weaknesses and just lksdfjlsdkjflskdjflksdjflk

Lily Evans: Ah, young love. 

Mary MacDonald: How’s James Potter doing these days?????

Lily Evans: Why are you still on that train? That train doesn’t exist! 

Marlene McKinnon: That’s funny b/c I can see it 2. 

Dorcas Meadowes: So either we’re all going insane or Lily is blind..

Mary MacDonald: Lily’s blind, obvsssss,,,,,,

Lily Evans: You’re all going insane!!! Let’s go back to congratulating 🌼 and 🌻!

Dorcas Meadowes: Old news, but thank you :))

Marlene McKinnon: Awwww, sweetie, nice try tho. 

**Whatsapp Group Chat: The Golden Trio**

James Potter: PUB CRAWL TONIGHT IN HONOUR OF SIRIMUS

DRINKS ON ME

[live location: Oxford, England]

Sirius Black: AYE!!! Although personally, I prefer Remius. 

[live location: Oxford, England]

Remus Lupin: Thank you, James :) I’ll pay for the Uber. 

[live location: Oxford, England]

James Potter: WAIT I’VE GOT IT

if we combine your last names, it spells “luck.”

Sirius Black: I ship it.

Remus Lupin: I’m sailing the ship. 

James Potter: i’m waving my handkerchief from the docks. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? What do you want to see more of? WHO do you want to see more of? Have a plot-wrench to throw into all my vague plans for this fic?? Let me know!!


	15. Fools Like Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big love to my stellar beta, xo_marauders 💖

**@glassesarethenewgold on Instagram:** what would i ever do without you, @ameliasbones? #ilikemebetterwhenimwithyou

**@ameliasbones commented:** WHEN DID YOU TAKE THESE CANDIDS YOU SNEAK

**@ameliasbones commented:** btw, ily too 😉😘

**@its-me-andy commented:** Aaaah, cuties!!! ❤❤❤

**@mollywobbles commented:** What a power couple! 💪✊🙌

**Private Whatsapp Chat: Lily Evans, Mary MacDonald**

Lily Evans: Hey, I want to text James to congratulate him on getting together with Amelia if they are actually together? 

Mary MacDonald: He hasn't said anything to me,,,, not that I'm his keeper when it comes to relationships or anythinggggg…. You'll want to take that up with Mia Potter,,,,

Lily Evans: I'm not going to ask his mum of all people if he's seeing anyone! I just wanted to avoid the whole foot-in-mouth moment in case he's not actually *with* her like that! People can say 'I love you' to friends.

Mary MacDonald: Like you two haven't had a million and one foot-in-mouth moments by now. You'll get over it.

Lily Evans: You're probably right…

Mary MacDonald: Only PROBABLYYYY??????

Lily Evans: *You're right.

Mary MacDonald: Of course I am ;))))

**Private Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

Lily Evans: Hey, congrats on your first girlfriend since grammar school.

No, wait, that came off totally passive-aggressive.

Or maybe just totally aggressive.

Amelia seems really cool.

Definitely your type.

Congrats, mate.

Wow, I never say 'mate' and that felt weird just to type.

Anyway, cheers, mate!

Yeah, no, doesn't feel any more natural to me the second time around…

James Potter: wow, what a lovely message stream to get out of neuro 101 to.

no, wait, that came off totally sarcastic and ungrateful.

and i did not mean it that way!!!

amy is really cool.

just so bamf.

thanks, lils :)

Lily Evans: Yeah, I figured you were in class or something. It was the only thing keeping me from completely freaking out in case I said something that offended you. Because it's not like you need my or anyone's approval of whomever you're dating. 

James Potter: haha, no worries! on the bright side, no one's going to think i have an out of control crush on you anymore :)

Lily Evans: [seen ✔]

**Private Whatsapp Chat: Lily Evans, Mary MacDonald**

Lily Evans: Oh my god, I just had the most awkward conversation with James.

Mary MacDonald: To the group chat!!!!!!!

Lily Evans: I was afraid you were going to say that…

**Whatsapp Group Chat: The Golden Trio**

James Potter: i just had the most awkward conversation with lily.

Sirius Black: It’s because you’re dating your RA.

Remus Lupin: It’s DEFINITELY because you’re dating your RA.

James Potter: she was very nice about amy, i don't think that's it...

Sirius Black: Yes, it is. Break up with her before she dumps you and kicks you off the acapella group.

Remus Lupin: No, dumbass, wait for her to dump you then she’ll feel super guilty and keep you on the acapella group.

James Potter: WHY ARE YOU BOTH JUST ASSUMING I WANT TO DUMP AMY???

AMY IS COOL!!!

AMY IS BAMF!!!

Sirius Black: “Amy” is not Lily.

Remus Lupin: And Amy deserves better than second choice. 

James Potter: i’m not settling for her!!! i happen to really, really like her!!!

Remus Lupin: Then why won’t you ever go on a one-on-one date with her?

_ James Potter is typing... _

Sirius Black: Oh my god, he’s never been on a one-on-one date with her???

_ James Potter is typing... _

Remus Lupin: That’s what I said. 

James Potter: there’s just never been a good time for both of us! and there’s no sense in rushing it.

Sirius Black: When you were pining for Lily, you decided you had all your kids’ names picked out.

James Potter: god, sixth form me was so lame.

Sirius Black: And completely smitten with Lily Evans!!! 

Remus Lupin: It's just a bit unrealistic to just turn around and decide you're just completely OVER Lily. And you'd be leading Amelia on if your heart's not in it.

James Potter: look, i'm sorry your long-time ship isn't sailing, but you can't read my mind. for all you know i'm very happy with amelia.

Remus Lupin: Are you?

James Potter: yes!!!

Sirius Black: Sorry, old chap, guess we just got caught up in our own emotions, which was selfish. If you're truly happy, then so are we.

Remus Lupin: Ditto, mate. 

James Potter: thanks, guys.

_ James Potter is typing... _

James Potter: by the way, lily said she can't get used to calling people "mate" or maybe it's just me…

Sirius Black: As in it's just you thinking she's uncomfortable calling people "mate" or it's just you she's uncomfortable calling "mate."

James Potter: the first??? i think???

Remus Lupin: Eh, Lily's never been the most casual person. I wouldn't think about it too much. 

James Potter: ok.

**Whatsapp Group Chat: WHO RUN THE WORLD**

Mary MacDonald: Ladieeeessss,,,,,,

Marlene McKinnon: U have our attn!

Dorcas Meadowes: What's the sitch??

Lily Evans: It's not a big deal, really. 

Mary MacDonald: Jily just had an awkward conversation,,,,,,

Lily Evans: I'm going to forgive that typo.

Mary MacDonald: No typo! That's your ship nameeee~~~~

Lily Evans: WITH JAMES???

Dorcas Meadowes: I can't tell if you're excited or scandalized..

Lily Evans: WHICH DO YOU THINK???

Marlene McKinnon: Stop stalling n spill ur convo!

Lily Evans: I just told him I was happy for him and Amelia.

Mary MacDonald: Ok, sure, sis,,,,,,,

Dorcas Meadowes: And how did he take it??

Lily Evans: He was chill. I just… It was weird. I don't know how to explain it.

I've texted him at that time before and he never said he was in class…

Marlene McKinnon: U think he's avoiding u?

Lily Evans: I don't know what to think. I don't even know why I'm angsting over this…

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

**Whatsapp Group Chat: Lily.exe Tech Support**

Mary MacDonald: NOBODY INTERRUPT THE TEXT STREAM LILY'S ABOUT TO DROP ON US!!!!!!!

GIRL NEEDS TO SORT THIS OUT!!!!!!

Dorcas Meadowes: Got itt

Marlene McKinnon: 👌

**Whatsapp Group Chat: WHO RUN THE WORLD**

Lily Evans: We have this running gag between us… 

I always tease him about his behavior making everyone think he has a crush on me… 

And after talking about how amazing his new girlfriend is, he said that wouldn't happen anymore…

_ Lily Evans is typing... _

Lily Evans: And that really threw me off…

Because… 

It's just always been our thing, you know???

Like Hamilton and Dickens...

And sticky buns and hyping each other up…

_ Lily Evans is typing... _

Lily Evans: I have a crush on him.

I have a crush on James Potter.

Who told me he loved me…

But doesn't anymore…

Mary MacDonald: I'm 5 mins away, we'll talk, ok?????

Lily Evans: Ok.


	16. You've Got a Friend in Me

**Private Whatsapp Chat: Lily Evans, Sirius Black**

Lily Evans: How did you know you loved Remus?

[live-location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

Sirius Black: Have you finally realized that a certain someone has a very obvious crush on you?

[live-location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

Lily Evans: How did you tell him?

Sirius Black: Well, I didn't wait until another bloke snatched him up before I did.

Lily Evans: Because it's you I know you're not mad at me when you put it that way.

Sirius Black: He saved my life. The bastard knows it too because he's the one who introduced me to the fellow you fancy. When I realized he wouldn't do me the courtesy of asking me out himself, I took it upon myself. 

Lily Evans: Well.

Of course you of all people would have a very specific non-transferable love story.

Sirius Black: Truer words. 

Never fear, Evans. Amy graduates this semester and she's got a job at a dig site in Mexico. And James already expends all his long distance texts on two people. One of them is me. 

Lily Evans: I didn't realize he and Mary were that close. She keeps going on about how he annoys the crap out of her. Especially since he "threatened" to bring Amy to Edinburgh for a visit.

Sirius Black: NOT MARY, YOU DIMWITTED SMARTY PANTS! 

YOUUUUU!

Lily Evans: Yeah, whatever.

Sirius Black: Because it's you, I know you're not totally exasperated with me.

Lily Evans: Yet.

Sirius Black: Truer words.

**Whatsapp Group Chat: Slug Club**

Benjy Fenwick: I have created this group to save our collective arses from failing out of this class because our lab coordinator got arrested halfway through term for being a ducking drug dealer.

[live-location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

Benjy Fenwick: I swear, the one time I actually wanted to type fuck...

Lily Evans: Hahahaha

Benjy, I'm sorry.

I just really needed a laugh today.

Revisions are the worst.

Hestia Jones: Thanks, Benjy! Does anyone know the answer to the 3rd review question for Lab 8?

[live-location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

_ Lily Evans sent an attachment. _

Emmeline Vance: I was wondering that too! Thank you!

[live-location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

**Whatsapp Group Chat: This Class is a Joke**

Lily Evans: SOS.

I JUST SAW THE IMPROV PROMPTS FLITWICK MIGHT PICK FROM FOR OUR FINAL EXAM.

WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IF I GET A COMBINATION OF CONSOLING A CHILD + ANGRY???

Ted Tonks: Be a terrible improvised parent.

[live-location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

Arthur Weasley: Be the quiet kind of angry that is super scary. 

[live-location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

Mary MacDonald: Go apeshit on whoever hurt your kid???????

[live-location: Edinburgh, Scotland]

Lily Evans: I can do Mary's idea. Thanks.

Mary MacDonald: No problemmmm ;))))

Lily Evans: OH GOD WHAT IF I GET LYING TO YOUR PARENTS + HORNY?????

**Whatsapp Group Chat: Flunking is the New Fly**

James Potter: i might have to live out the remainder of my years in the Romanian forests.

[live-location: Oxford, England]

Remus Lupin: Dearborn would 100% hunt you down and make you take his final.

[live-location: Oxford, England]

Andromeda Black: Psych was supposed to be an easy option 😭

[live-location: Oxford, England]

Amelia Bones: James, you can quiz me on my flashcards. It'll help you go over the material again too.

[live-location: Oxford, England]

James Potter: you are a lifesaver, ames xx

**Private Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

James Potter: hi. please ignore if you're busy revising. my brain is more fried than fish and chips right now. that's literally all i have to say for myself. 

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

Lily Evans: Hi. Literally, same. 

James Potter: how did we let it come to this?

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

James Potter: we used to be so vivacious. so unbothered.

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

Lily Evans: A question for the ages.

James Potter: [seen ✔]

James Potter: sorry! i swear i wasn't ghosting you! 

i was quizzing Amy on her flashcards. 

how's chem looking? mary said your lab's been a shitshow since they gave riddle the boot?

Lily Evans: [seen ✔]

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

_ Lily Evans is typing... _

_ Lily Evans is typing... _

Lily Evans: It's that bad, yeah. Sorry, I got a study group with my bench just now. 

James Potter: oh, yeah, sure, totally, go get 'em, evans.

Lily Evans: [seen ✔]

"Alright," Flitwick halted the applause after Ted and Arthur's set, "Very good, Mr. Tonks, Mr. Weasley."

"I'm  _ so _ glad we didn't get 'horny,'" Lily whispered to Mary. "Thank you for doing this with me. You could literally have your pick of partners for thi-"

"And I picked  _ you _ ." Mary squeezed her hand. "So stop feeling sorry for yourself and get hyped."

Lily nodded resolutely, but when Flitwick called their names a second later, all color seemed to drain from her face.

"Ms. MacDonald, you draw for the emotion; Ms. Evans, you draw for the scenario."

They stuck their hands into the two mason jars of paper and read out their assignment.

"Angry -"

"- declaration of love." Lily felt her mouth go dry. 

"Whenever you're ready," said the professor.

Mary threw her partner a wicked grin before messing up her short dark bob so that she looked just like a female James Fleamont Potter. 

"Where have you been?" she stormed towards Lily, "I've been looking all over for you!"

"So what?" the redhead crossed her arms petulantly. "Like you own me now?"

"Why do you have to be so  _ accusatory _ all the time?" Mary seethed.

" _ You _ walked in here with that attitude!" Lily jabbed a finger at her. 

"Where. Have. You. Been? It's been  _ hours _ !"

"I've been  _ busy _ , so  _ what _ ?" Lily threw her nose in the air in a perfect imitation of her sister, Petunia.

"Too busy for your  _ best _ friend?"

"Who texts at the most ungodly hours -"

"Who always takes your side -"

"I never ask you to!"

"You didn't have to!" Mary screamed.

"Oh, save the chivalry for your girlfriend!" Lily retorted.

"I want  _ you _ to be my girlfriend!" Mary gesticulated wildly in the same ungainly way James tended to. 

"I want to be  _ your _ girlfriend!" she yelled back, balling her fists at her sides.

"Good, because I love you!"

"Fine, because I love you too!"

The girls closed the distance between one another and embraced to raucous applause.

**Private Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

Lily Evans: Hey, just finished my last final. How are you doing?

James Potter: one more this afternoon, then I'm home-free. i can't wait to see you again :)

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

Lily Evans: I'll try not to disappoint.

James Potter: you could never!

Lily Evans: I'm afraid I already have.

James Potter: please elaborate so that i can tell you how wrong you are.

Lily Evans: You had a crush on me in sixth form and told me you loved me in September and I… reacted badly.

James Potter: LILY THAT WAS AGES AGO AND WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH AS FRIENDS SINCE THEN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON ABOUT

Lily Evans: I don't know… 

I just… 

I hope you know how incredible I think you are. You're an insanely talented singer, you're going to be a great psychologist, and you're already a great friend. One of my best. I don't know if I tell you that enough.

James Potter: wow. i… i don't know what to say… 

i mean, thank you, obviously. 

i just… 

i didn't see that coming.

_ James Potter is typing... _

James Potter: thank you. for telling me. it means a lot to me, especially coming from you :)

(and this is why everyone thinks i have a crush on you, yes, i'm well aware, haha)

_ James Potter is typing... _

James Potter: hey, can we… facetime? 

after my exam, obviously.

Lily Evans: Who are you and what have you done with James I-don't-do-Facetime Potter??

Just kidding. I'd like that very much :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked that double update! I'm not sure when I'll be able to post again, BUT PLEASE KNOW THAT I LOVE THIS STORY and thanks to your lovely feedback, I know you love it too, SO YOU CAN BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR I'M FINISHING IT!! I just need some time for my real life atm and I want to give you all my best work, nothing less ❤ 
> 
> THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for reading, leaving kudos, comments, subscribing to this little fic. I hope to be back as soon as I can! In the meantime, have a sticky bun, watch Hamilton, talk to your friends, take good care of yourselves 💕
> 
> \- Jeannie xx


	17. I'll Be There For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK :D Thank you so much for being patient with me and thank you to the lovely xo_marauders for being such an awesome beta <3

“Hello?” James peered down at his phone, squinting through his round-rimmed glasses. “Is this thing on?”

Remus’ phone rang with a call from Sirius just then. He put his earbuds in and answered. 

“Well?” The long-haired boy looked unfairly sexy in a gray Christmas sweater. “Has he called her yet? She set up in front of the window in her room at Mary’s but her phone hasn’t rung --”

“Yeah,” said Remus, adjusting his earbuds in his ears. “Minor technical difficulties.” 

“Oh! There! He’s calling her!”

“Yeah,” said Remus, remaining very stoic. 

Lily’s face came on James’ phone. She had perched her phone on her window sill so she had the best natural lighting that made her hair look like a blooming rose in summer. 

“Holy shit -- I mean, hi,” James blushed profusely. “You look goo--well. You look well. It’s good to see you… well.”

“Okay, how’s it going?” Sirius demanded on his call with Remus. 

Remus chortled. “‘ _ Well _ ,’” he quoted James. 

“Hi,” Lily breathed. It was unfair how good he still looked despite his lousy camera angle. It sounded like he was in a bit of a loud place, so she asked, “Are you okay to talk? It just… sounds a little hectic on your end?” 

“Oh, yeah.” James rooted around his backpack. “One sec… Remus, have you seen my Airpods?”

Lily lifted an eyebrow at him as if to say,  _ Airpods, huh? _

James caught her look and blushed again. 

“Here, you can borrow my running pair,” Remus said, from where he was sitting across from James on the train. 

“Thanks, mate,” James set them around his neck and connected them to Bluetooth. His voice came through much crisper and clearer. 

It kind of made Lily swoon and all she could say was, “So…”

“So…” James smiled softly, just looking at her before he caught himself. “We’ve managed to turn you into a Scotswoman yet, eh, Evans?”

Lily barked out a laugh, “In your dreams, Potter. I just… don’t want to be in London right now.” She exhaled so softly, it couldn’t really be called a sigh, but the shadow of forlornness in her usually vibrant green eyes made James’ heart ache for her. 

“Your sister?” James leaned forward, closer to his phone, to her. 

“My sister,” Lily nodded. “You know she completely renovated the house? She didn’t even consult me! I mean, yeah, it’s technically her house, but it’s also the house we  _ both _ grew up in, you know? I had to hear it from Dorcas and Marlene! Bless them, they saw a moving truck outside and thought I might have a chance to snag the house -- on my loans, as if! -- but it was just to get rid of… of everything that made our house… ours… our family’s… I’m sorry!” she covered her face suddenly. 

“No, no, it’s oka--”

“I don’t know why I went on like tha--”

“You can always talk to m--”

“It’s Christmas for crying out--”

“I’m here for you, Lils,” James said so sincerely, it made her heart stop briefly. Then the tousle-haired boy smirked, “Dare I say, I’ll be there for you.” He sort of half-sang the last bit. 

“Giving me a taste of your acapella prowess, are you?” Lily giggled teasingly.

“Just wait until you hear me do carols,” he winked. 

Lily laughed, holding her arms around her middle.

"So how are you?" asked James, his eyes alight with mischief. "My mum said you and dad almost blew up the bird feeder." 

"No, we didn't!" Lily protested indignantly. "There was a little crack in it, but that's because it tipped over while we were trying to get a mineral sample off the bottom of it where there's all this moss and stuff. And Mia's the one who wanted to find out how to stop it from growing." Lily then lifted her chin proudly. "We found traces of zinc-chromium, by the way."

“Hello! Hello?” Sirius waved his arms at the camera. “Status update? That would be amazing? About right now?”

“I’m trying to catch up on my reading,” Remus narrowed his eyes at him, but his lips quirked up slightly as he spoke. 

“How is Raymond Chandler more interesting than the rom-com unfolding right in our  _ midst _ ? Our very  _ midst _ !”

“Surely, you’re overreacting,” Remus drawled, just to annoy his boyfriend, who looked very hot all riled up. In. His. Very. Fitting. Christmas. Sweater. “There’s enough drama to go around, you know.”

“Well, then, tell me what’s  _ actually _ going on so I can react appropriately!”

“Why don’t you be the one to tell me?” Remus lifted an eyebrow just so. “You’re not the one stuck in transit.”

“ _ Exactly _ ! I don’t have a convenient excuse to be in her company!”

“You guys have been friends since like, preschool --”

“Primary, but yeah,” Sirius shrugged, the motion so smooth and unbothered all of a sudden, it was reminiscent of a cat stretching. 

“-- so do you really need an excuse to hang out with her and your best friend --”

“Without being a third wheel!” Aaaand he was back to acting like he just drank three cups of coffee. “You’re better at the whole, ‘unobtrusive presence’ thing! Now what. Is.  _ Happening _ ?”

“Alright, alright, hold your horses, Black.”

“I am, but they’re fighting the bit, Lupin, so you’d better have something good.”

James was laughing uproariously in his seat, getting some odd stares, but he couldn’t care less. “But that’s not the best part --” he wheezed in his efforts to stop laughing long enough to speak. “After this guy Mulciber’s solo, this -- this -- really tall fellow, right? You can tell he’s got aristocratic breeding or something, right? Or at least new money --”

“You mean, like you?” Lily teased. 

“As if!” James pretended to look affronted. “He wishes he could be on my level! Anyway, he comes up for his solo -- all stiff-upper lip --”

“A proper Briton,” Lily put on the affected accent she’d heard Sirius’ brother use on occasion before he dropped out of school and ended up in juvie. 

“Exactly,” James went on, “And he’s got this really long platinum blond hair --”

“He  _ what _ ?” Lily laughed, “You’re making this bloke up!”

“I swear I’m not! I’ll show you his Insta when I get there, you won’t believe his obsession with medieval artefacts -- he’s a Classics and Anthropology major, but that’s neither here nor there -- where was I?”

“Platinum blond,” said Lily, revelling in his exuberance right along with him.

“Right!” he’s bouncing in his seat now. “So Blondie does an actual over-the-shoulder hair flip as the backup singers do their thing --”

“Oh my god, did someone get this on video?” Lily could feel her cheeks aching from smiling, but she couldn’t stop. 

“Better. There are gifs on our Reddit. I bookmarked the link, hold on, let me send it to you,” James fiddled with his phone for a bit. “There you go.”

“Oh my god!” Lily laughed. “Oh, wow, L’Oreal needs to give him a call, ASAP.”

“I know, right? He missed his calling with acapella, let me tell you. He sounds like a dying ferret! Anyway, long story short, we won, again. And I’m seriously considering quitting my major to travel the world à la  _ Pitch Perfect _ .”

“At least sign a record deal first.”

“What should I sing on my demo?”

“Definitely 'I’ll Be There for You'. And while you’re at it, just keep bringing back the 90s.”

“The 90s were the best.”

“Well…” Lily tilted her head slightly, “I mean, there was the Hillsborough disaster, unemployment was up --”

“Alright, alright,” James put his hands up in surrender. “Uni made you quite the history buff, eh?”

“I helped Benjy go through his flashcards a bit, ‘cause he was such a good sport for tutoring Snape.” 

“I still can’t believe they’re letting him back next semester,” James huffed and ran a hand through his wild, jet-black hair. “Snape, that is. Is there any way you can make sure you’re not in the same lab?”

“Short of hacking registration?” Lily shrugged. “Not really. It’s not a big deal. I’ll just make sure to get in the same lab with Benjy and we’ll partner up. I won’t have to deal with Snake.”

“Good,” said James emphatically. Suddenly, he looked up like someone had called his name. “Oh, uh, this is, um, Amy’s stop, she, uh, had to go back to her mum’s to pick up some things…”

“Oh, right, so she’s definitely coming up with you, then.” Lily cringed inwardly at how unenthused she sounded, so she added, “I can’t wait to meet her.”

James scratched the back of his neck lightly. “I think you’d really like her. She’s really cool. A lot like you, actually.”

Lily smiled brightly. Maybe a little too brightly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like my writing, you can follow me @jccolewrites on [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/jccolewrites/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/jccolewrites) for something exciting on the wayyyy!!! xx


	18. Silver White Winters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you xo_marauders for being the best beta <3
> 
> Fair warning, I'm starting fall semester, so updates will likely be sketchy after this, so SAVOR IT I MADE IT EXTRA LONG AND CHOCK FULL OF GOOD BITS JUST FOR YOU 🤗🤗🤗

**Whatsapp Group Chat: WHO RUN THE WORLD**

Lily Evans: Happy Christmas, ladies!

Mary MacDonald: WTF, Evans????? It’s like 2 in the morning??????

Marlene McKinnon: Don’t u stay ☝️ til midnight on Xmas eve, Mary?

Mary MacDonald: Until *midnight* MIDNIGHT!!!!!! Not 2 in the bloody morning!!!!!!!

Lily Evans: It is for this exact reason that I chose to stay over at the Potters’ for the holidays.

Dorcas Meadowes: Holy shite!! For real?? How does She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named feel about it??

Lily Evans: I don’t think I will dignify that with a response. 

Mary MacDonald: Booooooooo!!!!!

Lily Evans: I thought you were tired??

Mary MacDonald: BOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Dorcas Meadowes: Boo, we say!!

Marlene McKinnon: 👎👎👎

Lily Evans: Bye.

**Whatsapp Group Chat: The Golden Trio**

James Potter: happy christmas, lads!

Remus Lupin: Christ, it’s like 2 in the bloody morning.

Sirius Black: Now you know why I insisted we stay at my flat. A good two kilometers away from this psycho.

James Potter: we’ve had movie marathons run later than this!

Remus Lupin: And what time is Christmas breakfast tomorrow?

James Potter: 8am.

Sirius Black: And now that we’ve established that, goodnight. 

_ Amelia was in the room just across the hall _ , James thought. 

**Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Amelia Bones**

_ James Potter is typing… _

_ James Potter is typing… _

_ James Potter is typing… _

Yeah, there was no sophisticated way to ask “you up?” over text. James wormed his way out of his blanket burrito and tiptoed across the darkened hall. There was no light coming out the bottom of her door. She probably also did not wish to be up past midnight on Christmas eve. Lily’s room next to his, though, was vacant and the door ajar. Brill.

**Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

James Potter: where are you rn?

Lily Evans: Garden.

There was a thin, ethereal layer of snow covering the mopey brown grass and a see-through layer of ice over the small pond. Lily sat in her bright red onesie, ginger locks in two space buns. 

“Sweet baby Jesus, Evans, it’s freezing out here!” James shivered, shutting the kitchen door behind him.

“Happy Christmas to you, too, Potter,” she chortled at his sensitivities. 

He sat down beside her on the bench, wiping his glasses on his raglan t-shirt, only to have them fog up again because he was a living, breathing human being with bad eyesight. 

“It’s… It’s my first Christmas away from home,” Lily confessed. 

James couldn’t imagine Christmas without Euphemia’s incessant cooking and baking. Contrary to Fleamont’s chemistry doctorate, he was a shite cook, so he was in charge of the decorations, including the unfortunate placement of mistletoe  _ everywhere _ . 

Lily sighed and dropped her head onto his shoulder. 

He felt the wetness of her tears seep in through the cloth, spreading over a small patch of his skin. 

“I’m sorry —”

“Don’t be. You’re allowed to be sad —”

“But I don’t want to be!” She sat upright again and hugged her middle. 

He licked his lips and cleared his throat. “Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.” When Lily didn’t react, he continued, “ Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens.”

“Brown paper packages tied up with strings…” Lily’s voice was thick from mucus and she sniffed loudly. 

“These are a few of my favorite things,” they sang softly together. 

“I mean, _Hamilton_ is great,” said James in the voice he reserved for making wise-cracks that were never that wise at all, “but have you ever just listened to _The_ _Sound of Music_ and… you know, vibed with the Julie freaking Andrews?”

Her lips quirked upwards just a bit, just enough for her to lift her chin, roll her shoulders back, and feel like not all was lost. “Thank you, James.”

“Anytime, Lily,” he promised.

**Whatsapp Group Chat: The Golden Trio**

Sirius Black: SHOULD AULD ACQUAINTANCE BE FORGOT SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING!!!

Remus Lupin: No one spiked the eggnog what is wrong with you.

James Potter: don’t make him start actually singing.

nvm, too late.

Remus Lupin: It’s my own fault for being attracted to him, I suppose.

Sirius Black: WE’LL TAK A CUP OF EGGNOG YET FOR AULD LANG SYNE!!!

“Happy Christmas, James,” Amelia kissed his cheek and plopped a record-shaped gift onto his lap. 

“Oh, I wonder what it could be!” he enthused sarcastically, while also being properly chuffed because James was not James without his extensive record collection. “Open yours first.”

“What? No way! It’s huge!” Amelia blushed, looking at the triple-tiered snow-white boxes wrapped with a golden bow. “You go first.”

“Well, if you insist.” James tore into the wrapper and gasped. “ Weird Al Yankovic’s Greatest Hits! I’ve always wanted one of these! Thank you! Okay, now, open yours.”

There was a pair of stylish and incredibly functional leather boots, a stylish and incredibly functional multi-pocketed vest, and a stylish, decidedly less functional fedora. 

“Oh my god,” Amelia threw her arms around his neck. “You spoil me, James Potter.”

“Well,” James chuckled, flustered. “You can’t go all Indiana Jones in Mexico without ‘em.” 

Amelia slapped the fedora on her head and struck a pose. “How do I look?”

“Hella badass.”

Paradoxically, she giggled. 

**tigerlily on Instagram:** I’m dreaming of a White Christmas… 

**@whysosirius commented:** Holy shite, you give He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named a run for his money! I’ve never seen that garden look like a fucking graveyard.

**@wolfwolf replied:** We need to stop referring to everyone we don’t like as He/She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. It gets really confusing.

**@whysosirius replied:** No, it isn’t. There’s He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, then there’s You-Know-Who, then there’s Moldy because he’s our oldest enemy. 

**@oldmacdonald replied:** Nope, I’m still confused. Happy Christmassss xxxxx

**@tigerlily replied:** Ah, sleeping beauty awakes.

**@whysosirius replied:** @tigerlily I’ve been woke for ages.

**@oldmacdonald replied:** @whysosirius Not you, dumbassssss xxxxxx

**@glassesarethenewgold replied:** it’s a little early to be *technically* sticking to your new year’s resolutions to be nicer, cuz 😂

**@oldmacdonald replied:** In that case, I’m coming fo yo arse mf xxxxx

**Whatsapp Chat: Lily Evans, Sirius Black**

Sirius Black: Yo, siriusly, you ok?

Lily Evans: Siriusly?

Sirius Black: I was trying to be chill and cool about it, but you won’t take me siriusly, I’m going to have to put on my Remus hat. 

It’s a beanie.

It’s really cute.

It’s got cat ears.

Lily Evans: I’m so intimidated.

Sirius Black: Evans.

Lily Evans: Black.

Sirius Black: How much of this sulking is brought on by James and how much is baggage from London?

Lily Evans: Ha, “baggage from London.” That’s a good one.

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

Lily Evans: Mostly, it’s London, I think. But James is… is in there somewhere. Amy got him such a thoughtful gift. Apart from theatre, music isn’t really something he and I are able to bond over… It’s good that he has someone to share that with.

Sirius Black: You feel replaced.

Lily Evans: You can’t replace something that was never… a thing to begin with.

Sirius Black: You two were friends. Good friends. You two were a thing, alright, just maybe not the thing you both wanted to be. 

He helped you prank Petunia, you helped him write an essay that got him into bloody Oxford. He went to your parents’ funerals, you saved his best friend’s arse from expulsion. None of that can be replaced by anyone. 

Lily looked up from her phone and looked across the kitchen counter at Sirius, who was delicately sipping his eggnog, looking like every “And that’s the tea” meme out there. She tackled him in a great big bear hug. “Thanks, mate.”

“Sure, now go give him your present.”

“Thanks for your help with that too.”

“Uh-huh, quit stalling. Scat.”

“Only you would call politeness ‘stalling.’”

“Bye.” Sirius waved. 

Lily rolled her eyes and entered the living room. Amelia and Euphemia had gone out for their morning run and Fleamont was in his study, fielding Happy Christmas emails from colleagues and former students.

“Lily!” James bounced on the couch, waving her gift in the air. “It’s just you and me left.”

A part of her was relieved that it was a small rectangle, probably a book. A nice, normal, predictable gift from a friend. She picked up her gift for him, a letterman jacket emblazoned with the words ‘Gryffindor Acapella’ on the sleeve, ‘Potter’, and ‘07’ on the back. She’d gotten it from one of those custom swag websites. Sirius had been the one to tell her that seven was James’ self-professed lucky number. Why was a secret that not even he was privy to. 

“It’s a scarf,” said James.

“Close,” she smiled, handing it to him. “After you.”

“Why, thank you, milady.” He twirled his hand in the air with faux grandeur. “But a gentleman must insist, you know.”

“And a lady has the right to counter-insist, does she not, good sir?” Lily managed to convince herself that they were not flirting. They were having friendly banter. Like they  _ always _ did. 

“She does indeed.” James accepted his gift and opened it. “Holy shit!” He put it on immediately. “I love it. I love it, love it, love it! Thank you, thank you, thank you forever!”

Lily returned his embrace tightly. “Happy Christmas, James.”

“Happy Christmas, Lily,” he sighed into her shoulder. When he finally released her, he snuggled further into his new jacket. “Okay, your turn.”

Lily opened her present.  _ A Christmas Carol: Special Edition _ . Cloth-bound, gilded edges, those ribbon bookmarks she loved so much. Growing up, especially before they’d moved out of Cokeworth, she could never justify spending money on books unless she had already read them and was sure to want to read them again. And she only bought second-hand paperbacks, sustainable reading and all that. But sometimes, when she would go shopping with the girls, she would find herself going into Waterstones just to flip through their fancy hardcovers. 

“How did you know?” she whispered. She’d never told anyone about wanting fancier books for the novelty of it. It sounded frivolous while also simultaneously managing to sound pitifully deprived. Her pride wouldn’t allow it. 

“How could I  _ not _ know?” James scratched the back of his neck, hazel eyes never leaving her face. “You spend hours in our library and your Pinterest is bookstagram-worthy.”

Lily kissed his cheek before she could think too much about it. It was a perfectly normal thing to do among friends. “Thank you,” she breathed, clutching the book to her chest.

**Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Mary MacDonald**

James Potter: how did you know sirius wasn’t right for you?

Mary MacDonald: Well,,,,,,,, first of all, I’d just like to say how much I appreciate you coming to me, dear old cousin <3333

James Potter: we’re literally the same age. 

Mary MacDonald: That may be so, but I wear it better. So: you’ve realized that Amelia will never be able to make you happy like Lily can,,,,,,,,,

James Potter: why did i read that in a captain america voice?

and no, it’s more complicated than that.

Mary MacDonald: How so???????

James Potter: lily liked my gift.

_ James Potter is typing… _

James Potter: she had this look on her face like it meant so much more than any book is allowed to mean to someone, nevermind that it’s got golden-edged pages and an embossed cover.

_ James Potter is typing… _

James Potter: she asked me how i knew she’d like it… i said how could i not know. and i mean, she’s really obvious, but also i could never *not* know with her, you know?

i can never *not* notice when she walks into a room, when she’s NOT in a room, when she’s sad, when she’s so explosively happy, when she’s hungry but ignoring it because she’s in the zone or whatever…

i read somewhere once that love is not how a person makes you feel, but what you feel for them and i still feel *everything* for lily… 

shit

i have to go. 

Mary MacDonald: Don’t break up with her on Boxing Day, dammit.

James Potter: duh, i might be dumb, but i’m not stupid. i’ll wait until january.

Mary MacDonald: Slightly better,,,,,, but she’ll still think you’re an arse…….

James Potter: i’d be more of an arse if i strung her along after figuring my shit out. 

Amelia’s train to the airport was due to arrive in five minutes. If he didn’t get his courage up now, he would have to wait until she came back from Mexico, which could be months, or he’d have to be an arsehole and do it over the phone. James Potter was many things, but he was not an arsehole. 

“Amy, there’s —”

“James, I —”

“Sorry, you go ahead —”

“No, you first.”

Well, if she insisted. He’d better tell her before she said something that would make him chicken out. 

“Amy,” he began, “I like you, a lot. We’ve always got on great ever since you heard me drowning my sorrows in our residence showers and I’m so glad to have you in my life.”

“This is either leading up to a declaration of love or a breakup, so I’m just going to interrupt and say my thing before one of us gets hurt more than we have to.” That was one of the many nice things about Amelia. She was a born leader. “I’m going to be in Mexico for months with limited cell signal and even less time on my hands. If it were any other circumstance, I’d say we should give long-distance a shot, but I’m not going to ask you to put your life on hold for me, James. I like you too much to do that to you.”

“Oh,” he said. “Can I… say my thing anyway?”

Amelia’s brows furrowed briefly before she nodded uncertainly.

“I… really thought I was over this crush of mine… I told her how I felt and she said she didn’t feel the same, so that was that and we stayed friends. Then I met you and you… you’re a force of nature, Ames. Being with you has been so fun and so amazing…”

“But that’s just how  _ I _ make you feel.” She understood. “Not what you feel for me.” 

“I’m sorry.”

She shook her head, smiling softly as the train pulled into the foggy station. “I’m glad we were able to get this sorted like adults.”

“Same here,” James helped her get her bags loaded. “Have a safe trip, Ames.”

Amelia kissed his cheek as snowflakes began to flutter down. “Don’t be a stranger.”

When the station emptied once more, he raised his phone and snapped a picture. 

**@glassesarethenewgold on Instagram:** Silver white winters that melt into springs… 

**Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

Lily Evans: Alright, Potter?

James Potter: alright, evans :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you follow me on Tumblr, you already know all about the exciting thing™️ — my debut novel, [Transcendent](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08GYG94Y7/) is out now on Amazon! You can read the entire first chapter and then some for free on the "Look Inside" feature! If you like my writing, this book is just for you xx
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, commenting, leaving kudos, I love and appreciate you all!!! I hope to write the next update over reading week(?) so if there's anything in particular you'd like to see next, let me know! :)


	19. Stolen Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd as always by the wonderful Kat, xo_marauders. She is so precious and deserves the world <3 If you're looking for fics to read this Jilytober, she wrote "With You" and it's kind of amazing? And while your at it, check out the rest of her repertoire!

**Whatsapp Chat: Unknown, Lily Evans**

Unknown: Hey, it’s Jay Gino from the SU Survey Committee. Welcome to a new semester!

Lily Evans: Hey, thank you!

Unknown: In order to make your experience with us even better, I was hoping to conduct a short survey? (All responses will remain anonymous if used in any publication or promotional material made by SU.)

Lily Evans: Sure, I’m all for school spirit!

Unknown: Excellent. Your student ID to start? (Make sure it’s not your anonymous ID!)

Lily Evans: Haha, yeah, why we even have two is confusing to me. It’s 139283.

Unknown: Thank you. I have your university email address now, but is there another we can reach you at?

Lily Evans: Um… you can use lilyevans70@gmail.com?

Unknown: Perfect. And do you live on campus, Lily?

Lily Evans: No.

Unknown: Okay, does your birthday occur within either the fall or winter semester? If so, please provide the date. (This information will be used exclusively for surprise party purposes.)

Lily Evans: Wow, you guys are really stepping it up this semester! That’s great to see. Jan. 30.

Unknown: Happy almost-birthday! Thank you, we really want everyone on campus to feel welcome, seen, and appreciated. There are just two more sections to this! Do you have a part-time job currently?

Lily Evans: I”m TAing for a returning professor, Fleamont Potter.

Unknown: Nice! Started just this semester? And since it’s a university position, are you satisfied with your job prospects / hours / wages / colleagues? (We lobby hard for our working students, for more info or if you want to volunteer as an Advocate, you can see the policies page on our website!)

Lily Evans: Yes, just this semester. Um… I’m not sure what job prospects TAs have, lol. Um… wages are minimum, but that’s standard, so short of raising Scotland’s minimum wage, I think we’re out of luck, haha. My colleagues are the best. Prof Potter’s lab is insanely cool.

Unknown: Cool! I guess I don’t need to ask you what your major is and we can move on to the last section: How are you paying for university and are the current payment methods available working for you?

Lily Evans: Um… I had some entrance scholarships, but those are almost gone now, hence the TAing. I might have to take out a loan for next year. The current payment methods... are pretty standard, I guess? I mean, wouldn’t it be cool if we could barter with goods like it was the Middle Ages? But also, I’d still be this close to broke, so… rip. 

Unknown: Relatable. I honestly don’t even know why we have that question. Thank you for participating in this survey. We’ll be sending out an email with our major findings as soon as our Stats team is ready with them, so in the meantime, if you have any further questions, thoughts, or suggestions, please don’t hesitate to reach out. 

Lily Evans: Thank you!

**Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

James Potter: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT EVANS

I AM SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU

Lily Evans: I’m… sorry? And also really confused??

James Potter: YOU’RE LUCKY IT WAS ME AND NOT SOME OTHER SCHMUCK WITH QUESTIONABLE ETHICS

AND THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN BY ACCIDENT EITHER SO YOU’RE WELCOME

Lily Evans: I’m less sorry and even more confused.

James Potter: wait i need a moment to hyperventilate into a paper bag

Lily Evans: I feel like you’re overreacting.

James Potter: i am not and i will prove it to you. 

remember how i applied for psych 230?

Lily Evans: The research course?

James Potter: yeah. we’re doing a survey on data security awareness in young adults aged 18-25 in the uk, but i think it’s more of a study in student involvement in su because wtf is a survey committee?? it doesn’t bloody exist, evans!!

Lily Evans: Holy shite.

James Potter: yeah. 

Lily Evans: Wow, you actually weren’t overreacting. That’s really concerning.

James Potter: yes, you’re very trusting. don’t ever change. it’s one of the things i love about you. not that you shouldn’t change for me if changing was something that you wanted to do. 

_ James Potter is typing... _

James Potter: also, don’t worry, the phones used to communicate with students for the experiment are owned by the university, so none of your info will be permanently recorded as per the experiment’s ethics policy and all research assistants have been vetted. 

_ James Potter is typing… _

James Potter: but personally, i think nick is sketchy (the guy i told you about who transferred from ulondon, has questionable public transit ethics, calls trousers pants like a bloody american), so i saved your number from the uedinburgh pile w/c i'm not supposed to touch, potential conflict of interest, blah blah blah. rubbish in the face of our friendship.

Lily Evans: You jeopardized your prof’s experiment for me?

James Potter: what, like it’s hard?

Lily Evans: You jeopardized your standing at bloody Oxford!!!

James Potter: that was harder, but you’d do the same for me, so.

but please do delete this entire conversation when you’re ready so that i don’t, you know, get expelled for trying to do the right thing.

_ Lily Evans has cleared the chat. _

Lily Evans: Thank you, James. I owe you one.

James Potter: you owe me nothing. i could be very, very wrong about nearly nefarious nick. i just figured better safe than sorry.

Lily Evans: Either way, I mean, I don’t like the idea of just anyone knowing the kinds of things I talked about in the survey… I’m glad it was you :)

James Potter: me too :)

**Whatsapp Group Chat: WHO RUN THE WORLD**

Lily Evans: Help James Potter just stole my personal info and my heart. 

Mary MacDonald: Well, that’s a loaded statement if I ever saw one,,,,,

Marlene McKinnon: Wut? Just? Happened? Did I miss smth?

Dorcas Meadowes: What What What What What??

Lily Evans: Not on the chat. Call me when you guys are free!

**Subject:** Orientation

**To:** <CHEM 113 (Environmental Chemistry)>

**From:** Lily Evans (lievans1@ed.ac.uk)

**CC:** Fleamont Potter (fpotter@ed.ac.uk)

Hi everyone,

Welcome to a new semester! As you know, this is not your average first year chemistry course. We focus primarily on application of concepts learned, so we will have a combined lab and lecture co-hosted by Professor Potter and myself. Our first session will likely be much shorter, but please know that in the future, you are expected to stay for the full three hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays or Monday and Wednesdays, depending on which section you are in. 

Your participation and attendance are a large part of your grade, so be sure to come prepared. Please see the list of readings attached and for which labs they will be pertinent to. If you have any questions outside of class, our office hours are in the syllabus attached. You can also find these documents on our course page.

Thank you,

Lily

In the Chem 113 office, Lily had just finished regaling Mary, Marlene, and Dorcas with a summary of James Potter’s heroics over FaceTime when a sullen-faced, dark-haired boy dressed in all black let himself in through the door.

“What are you doing here?” She stiffened. 

“It’s office hours.” Severus Snape’s voice has always had this toneless quality to it, so one could never be sure what he was thinking. 

Lily used to think it was because of the home he’d come from that made him think it wasn’t okay to show emotion. She really was too trusting. She couldn’t see that good people come out of bad situations because they choose to be good, not just because someone else chose to be good to them. 

Now, she squared her shoulders and fixed him with an even gaze. “I don’t remember seeing you in class.”

“The first class is always the same. I can read the syllabus myself. I had a question about the readings for next class.”

She nodded curtly. “Go ahead.” 

“Could you explain the relationship between symbiotic fungi and soil composition mentioned here?” He opened his textbook, but didn’t hold it out for her to see. 

“Give it here,” she said.

He put it on the table and leaned over her as she read it. 

Lily shivered uncomfortably. She was pretty sure he was smelling her. “I’ll email you a list of articles that go into this in more depth.” She shoved his textbook to the far end of the desk, so he’d have to back away from her to get it. “Anything else?”

“No, not right now,” he said. “It’s good seeing you, Lily.” His beady eyes raked over her person. “You look well.”

Lily shut the door behind him and leaned against it, taking deep breaths. She could not —  _ would not _ — resign on account of him being in this class. But how could she avoid him if she had to run office hours? 

The door nudged open and she jumped away from it. 

“Hey, Lily, how’s it going? Any keeners show up yet?” Fleamont ambled in, but upon seeing her pale face, shut the door with a frown. “What’s wrong?”

“I… would it… be possible for me to… have students fill out a Google form to access office hours? That way, students can also know how many others are ahead of them in the queue and can time their visits accordingly.”

“That’s a brilliant idea!” Fleamont exalted. “Why the long face, then?”

“Well, since we both plan to be here, if… a student by the name of Severus Snape shows up…”

“I know that name.” Fleamont scratched his chin. “How do I know that name?”

“He worked with Riddle and Peter —”

“ _ That _ bloody bastard!” The professor jumped up with a growl. “Sorry, you were saying?”

“I know you don’t like him either, but…” Lily reminded herself that this wasn’t just any boss. This was Fleamont Potter. He was a friend to her  _ and _ the man who raised James. Surely, he wouldn’t think any less of her for what she was about to say. Nevertheless, it was so unfair that she had to potentially risk her potential for career advancement for the sake of her personal safety. “I don’t feel safe around him, sir —”

“Say no more, I will take inquiries from him personally,” he assured her, a warm smile on his face, which was so much like James’.

Lily exhaled, relieved. “Thank you, Professor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Tumblr [@littlejeanniebean](https://littlejeanniebean.tumblr.com/) for more Jily / Harry Potter content!


	20. London Bridge is Falling Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *insert Mushu's I LIIIIIIVE gif*
> 
> shoutout to Moniquepro02 who basically told me update this already lmao 😂
> 
> and as always, thank you to xo_marauders for beta-reading! love you, darling xx

**Whatsapp Chat: Lily Evans, Petunia Evans**

Lily Evans: Hey. How are you guys?

Petunia Evans: What kind of question is that? It’s bloody locked down. There’s no milk or eggs at the grocers’. It’s a fucking dystopian nightmare.

Lily Evans: Hi, Sister whom I nearly never speak to, yet manage to insult every time I do. I’m coping as best I can. How are *you*?

Petunia Evans: Shut the fuck up and GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE. 

You think you’re better than all of us just because you’re going to university and shite.

Well, you’re NOT. You’re still lousy, loony Lily. You’re still a FREAK.

Lily Evans: Aaaand we’re done here.

**Whatsapp Chat: Sirius Black, Walburga Black**

Sirius Black: Against my better judgment, I am reaching out to ascertain the quality of your state of living. 

Walburga Black: WTF

Don’t get sassy with me!

Your father was ill, so they tested him, but it turned out to be nothing, then 14 days after that, he bloody caught it!

THEY INFECTED HIM ON PURPOSE TO GET HIM OUT OF THE HOUSE OF LORDS OF THAT I AM CERTAIN

And I know you knew he was ill because they reported it in the news and yet, you never called! you even wrote that horrible piece about how decisions are better made without him! 

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

Sirius Black: I’m pretty sure they did not infect him on purpose. The fact that he was tested as early as he was implies that he was given  _ preference _ , as a matter of fact. And I didn’t call because I’d rather not go deaf and anyway I’m texting. Also, I think I’m on my way to becoming a pretty great journalist is what I am. The people love a rebel underdog.

Walburga Black: Go fuck yourself.

Sirius Black: You too, Mother(fucker).

See what I did there?

_ Walburga Black has blocked you. _

Sirius Black: Honestly, I consider that my greatest achievement. I’m screenshotting this and framing it.

[ _ message not sent _ ]

**Whatsapp Chat: Lily Evans, Sirius Black**

Lily Evans: Hey, wanna get drunk together over FaceTime?

Sirius Black: Who are you and what have you done to Lily Evans?

Lily Evans: I made her talk to her sister and now she’s dead on the inside, so she can’t come to the phone right now.

Sirius Black: I just talked to my mother. It was maddening and invigorating at the same time.

Lily Evans: Good for you??

Sirius Black: No, bad for me. She never forgets a slight. I’ll be lucky if I ever publish another article again.

Lily Evans: Ever heard of this thing called the internet where anyone can say anything they want without fear of getting censored?

Sirius Black: But there’s this sense of legitimacy I’d be missing out on. The bragging rights. THE CLOUT, EVANS??

Lily Evans: I swear you have a bigger head than James. 

Sirius Black: Ouch. Okay, now you definitely owe me a socially-distanced drink.

Lily Evans: Cheers, mate. I’ll pop a bottle and call you in a sec!

**Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Peter Pettigrew**

James Potter: hey. how are you doing?

Peter Pettigrew: Hey. Uh, not great. Wbu?

James Potter: i think everyone could be better right now.

Peter Pettigrew: Yeah...

_ James Potter is typing... _

James Potter: how’s your mum?

Peter Pettigrew: Listening when I tell her 2 stay indoors @ least. U?

James Potter: i have lily and sirius and mary to make sure mum and dad are ok.

Peter Pettigrew: Good... Ngl, I miss you lot.

James Potter: we miss you too. 

don’t know yet about forgiveness though. 

sorry that came out pretty harsh.

but you hurt us, pete. 

you basically threw a giant fuck you on our friendship.

and honestly, i don’t know if that can be fixed.

i just wanted to reach out to you to make sure you were ok. 

also to tell you your ‘through the window’ pics on insta are cool.

we never really had a proper goodbye, so…

Peter Pettigrew: Yeah… Thanks, m8. I appreciate that… I haven’t spoken to the other lads since then… 

I know what I did was wrong and I’m sorry for it, really, I am. 

It’s just… times were tough and now they’re even tougher. If I didn’t make what I did back then, mum and I wouldn’t have a buffer now that we both can’t work.

James Potter: i can’t say that i get it, but i appreciate the apology. stay out of trouble, pete.

Peter Pettigrew: u 2 m8!

**Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

James Potter: i just had an awkward, sad convo with peter and i didn’t know who to talk to about it since the lads would just blow up.

Lily Evans: I’d say come join the virtual drinking game, but Sirius AND Remus are here, so. 

James Potter: AND THEY DIDN’T INVITE ME

the bastards.

Lily Evans: It’s a strip-tease game so they’re a little preoccupied.

James Potter: YOU’RE PLAYING A STRIP-TEASE GAME

WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH LILY EVANS

Lily Evans: I’m really getting that a lot today, huh.

Also, no, I’m the moderator to make sure everyone’s playing fair.

But back to you.

Peter called?

James Potter: no, i texted. i had to make sure he was ok in all this...

Lily Evans: Yeah, no, same, been getting in touch with a lot of people I haven’t spoken to in ages since we could all die tomorrow.

James Potter: or in 14 days.

Lily Evans: We need to stop thinking like this.

James Potter: humor is better than depression, that’s what i always say.

Lily Evans: Of course you would.

James Potter: it’s backed by real psychology!!!

Lily Evans: That’s like saying your opinion is valid because you thought it!

James Potter: ok, first of all, that’s PHILOSOPHY, and second, that’s INSULTING

Lily Evans: I’m sorry, I’m sorry, you are making important contributions to science and humanity, I know that first-hand. You’re just so easy to tease when you’re passionate about something. 

How are they moving that course online, by the way?

James Potter: it’s pretty easy since we’re just texting people. i pity those who signed up for the stress-tests where they have to be in the room with the subject and everything. their semester is probably being thrown into nothingness or chaos right now.

are your labs online?

Lily Evans: Yup, no more beakers and bunsen burners for me :(

James Potter: my condolences :(

you were such a great TA too!

Lily Evans: Oh, stop it. 

Sirius is about to flash us, so I’m hanging up and letting the couples do their thing.

James Potter: good idea. i was just settling in for some netflix now that our grades don’t matter because the deans said so and also the world is ending. any recommendations?

Lily Evans: I am halfway through The Office Season One.

James Potter: ours or theirs?

Lily Evans: Theirs?

Look, don’t you dare call me a traitor, Steve Carell is funny, alright?

James Potter: if i don’t, will you let me catch up so we can have a virtual viewing party?

Lily Evans: Hurry up, Dwight won’t somehow be a worse boss than Michael all on his own, you know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, you've reached the end of the chapter! You know what to do ;)


	21. Fleamont Buys Toilet Paper and Other Stories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fast-forward to when lockdown lifts and everyone can go home...

**Whatsapp Group Chat: pottering about**

Euphemia Potter: why is the living room full of toilet paper?

Fleamont Potter: james is coming home

Euphemia Potter: so he’s going to toilet paper the entire neighborhood and you want to aid and abet??

Fleamont Potter: the malfoys weren’t wearing masks. they deserve it.

Euphemia Potter: admit it, you just panic-bought seventeen packs of 16 rolls along with the rest of them.

Fleamont Potter: why would i do that when you just gave me the perfect excuse to toilet paper the malfoys and save my dignity?

Euphemia Potter: fuck, why is that attractive.

Fleamont Potter: ;) ;) ;)

James Potter: ewww guys not in the group chat!!!

Sirius Black: Well now they’re making out in the living room!

James Potter: still better than the group chat.

Sirius Black: I’M IN THE LIVING ROOM!!! THIS IS NOT WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR WHEN I SIGNED MY LEASE WITH YOU LOT.

James Potter: sorry, mate.

Sirius Black: You sounded so apologetic just then. I’m toilet-papering your room.

James Potter: wait, no, guys, as much as i’d love to toilet paper the malfoys into wearing their masks, we should give some to the weasleys.

and the lovegoods.

ANONYMOUSLY

otherwise, they’ll just send them back.

Sirius Black: You’re just saying that so I won’t toilet paper your room.

James Potter: i… i wish i would refute that without a doubt but i can’t. bollocks. am i a bad person??

Euphemia Potter: i wouldn’t raise anything short of a wonderful young lad.

also what is your ETA?

did you remember your traveling blanket? 

you know it always gets so dreadfully cold on those trains.

did remus bring his neck pillow? 

he always has such a sore neck after a long transit.

if he didn’t be sure to lend him your spare one. 

James Potter: i lose signal for one second and then this…

ETA about twenty minutes. lily and sirius are picking us up.

Euphemia Potter: in what? the motorbike??

James Potter: they added a two-person sidecar!

Fleamont Potter: i saw the two-person sidecar.

it doesn’t look like it’s up to regulation.

James Potter: which is why we picked the latest time of arrival! no one’s gonna catch us! we’re dumb, not stupid.

Sirius Black: Oi. Speak for yourself.

Euphemia Potter: i have detained sirius. fleamont will pick you up IN THE CAR

**Whatsapp Chat: Sirius Black, Lily Evans**

Sirius Black: The Potters are holding me prisoner. It’s up to you now, Evans.

Lily Evans: ???

Sirius Black: To fetch James and Remus!

Lily Evans: I can drive the Harley by myself???

Sirius Black: Sure can, kid. Mary knows where I hid the keys.

Lily Evans: AND SHE DIDN’T TELL ME?? The traitor.

Sirius Black: Focus, Evans! We have a mission!

Lily Evans: Sir, yes, sir!

Sirius Black: Also, don’t wreck my Harley.

Lily Evans: Who do you think you’re talking to, James??

Sirius Black: Sometimes. It’s kind of a habit.

Lily Evans: I’ve got the keys.

Sirius Black: Good.

Lily Evans: I’ve got my helmet.

Sirius Black: Better.

Lily Evans: I’ve started the engine.

Sirius Black: This is the part where you stop live-texting, though, right?

Lily Evans: Duh, I’m dumb, not stupid.

Sirius Black: Are you sure you’re NOT James??

Lily Evans: Remind me to talk to him less once he gets here. 

Sirius Black: That would be like asking water not to be wet.

Lily Evans: Ok, rolling out! Catch you later!

Sirius Black: Alligator!

**Whatsapp Group Chat: pottering about**

Fleamont Potter: the bike’s not in the garage.

Euphemia Potter: i can’t get a hold of lily.

Fleamont Potter: james.

James Potter: i remembered my traveling blanket and loaned remus my spare neck pillow. don’t worry.

Euphemia Potter: we are WAY past that. tell lily not to risk her neck bringing you home.

James Potter: but if she’s already on the way i don’t want to distract her.

Euphemia Potter: see if i make you any apple crumble when you get here!

James Potter: we buy our apple crumble from the store??

Fleamont Potter: sirius just yelled ‘THE FLAME IS LIT’ and then ‘THE ROBIN HAS FLOWN THE NEST’ so i have to assume lily is en route.

Euphemia Potter: actually, you know what, i feel better about her driving than sirius.

Sirius Black: Oi! I’m in this chat now, remember!

Euphemia Potter: what kind of mother would i be if i didn’t point out your flaws so that you can better yourself?

Sirius Black: BRB, gonna cry about having a mother who actually cares about me.

Euphemia Potter: oh, oh, dear. brb…

Sirius Black: No, no, I’m fine, that’s just typical millennial exaggeration.

Euphemia Potter: i can hear you sniffling in the bathroom. open the door, darling. 

Fleamont Potter: update: the ‘d’ word made it worse.

Sirius Black: I’M FINE I’M JUST WATCHING A VIDEO OF A CUTE PUPPY.

James Potter: the bathroom key is in my sock drawer, back left corner.

Sirius Black: HIS NAME IS SNUFFLES AND HE’S JUST VERY CUTE, OKAY??

Euphemia Potter: i thought we lost that key.

Sirius Black: I AM NOT CRYING THAT’S JUST THE SOUND OF THE PUPPY WHINING.

James Potter: i hid it so that i could pretend to lock algernon in and we’d have to call the firefighters to get him out through the window.

Euphemia Potter: you orchestrated that??

Fleamont Potter: and you didn’t put the key back??

what is the first rule of pranking??

James Potter: make it look like it never happened, i know, i know. i just kept thinking i’d do it later and then forgetting to do it, you know how it is.

Sirius Black: I AM PERFECTLY FINE.

THE PANDEMIC IS JUST AN EMOTIONALLY STRESSFUL TIME FOR EVERYONE.

**Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

Lily Evans: Your chariot awaits.

James Potter: hiii i can’t wait to tell you all about sirius’ mental health progress!

Lily Evans: I… just spoke to him before I left? I don’t like the way that exclamation mark looks after the word ‘progress.’

James Potter: therapy doesn’t have to be painful, evans.

Lily Evans: Spoken like someone who’s never gone to therapy.

James Potter: i’ll have you know i’ve been in therapy since i was four. my parents thought i had adhd, but it turns out i was just very very dumb as a child. i made up for it by getting into oxford when i grew up, as you know.

Lily Evans: And then there’s that other extreme who just doesn’t know any other way to live.

James Potter: you know, now more than ever people are realizing the importance of therapy in helping them cope with the times.

Lily Evans: I will leave you stranded here.

James Potter: i will continue this conversation in person.

Lily Evans: Revving the engine.

“Too late, we’re here!” James grinned exuberantly. (You could tell even though he was wearing a mask because his eyes were all small and cute and —)

“Remus, you’re a psychologist too,” said Lily, pointedly avoiding looking at James. “Do you think therapy is valuable for everyone?”

"I think so," he said.

"Ha!" James wagged his finger in Lily's face as he got into the sidecar.

For the sake of diplomacy, Remus added, "You can't force anyone into it, though."

"Ha!" Lily wagged her finger in James' face and booped his nose before his helmet visor went down.

(For the benefit of anyone who is concerned for their safety, they did get to the Potters' without a scratch or dent to their person or the bike.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you GhostofBambi for giving this fandom Algernon the Cat xx
> 
> Happy Halloween weekend! :D


	22. Proximity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Officially dedicating this fic to my wonderful beta, xo_marauders xx

**Whatsapp Group Chat: Lily.exe Tech Support**

Mary MacDonald: Ladies, we have one mission. One goal. One purpose…...

Marlene McKinnon: Awww shit

Dorcas Meadowes: Here we go againn..

Mary MacDonald: To get my idiot cousin and my idiot best friend to snog each other’s brains out.

Marlene McKinnon: U’d think it wouldn’t b so hard now that they’re both in Scotland.

Dorcas Meadowes: But then you remember.. This is the same Lily who honest to God blamed herself for her sister being a bitch until we came along..

Mary MacDonald: Exactlyyyyy

So, ideas????

Marlene McKinnon: Lock ‘em in the garden shed 👀

Mary MacDonald: Too many sharp and soil-y objects….

Dorcas Meadowes: Lock ‘em in the guest bedroom.. 👀

Mary MacDonald: Both of the Potters’ are occupied by Remus and Sirius and I’d rather not have to deal with the sheets afterward, thanksss

Marlene McKinnon: This was your 💡, Mary…

Dorcas Meadowes: Some sacrifices must be made..

Mary MacDonald: You’re both lucky you’re only here in spirit,,,, otherwise I woulda taken away your PDA privileges

Marlene McKinnon: How would u even do that ho?

THo! 

Tho!!!

I meant tho!!!

Mary MacDonald: Your typo is forgiven but I would advise you not to underestimate my abilities again. 

Dorcas Meadowes: Is it just me or has the pandemic made you scarier??

Mary MacDonald: I have cabin fever up the wazoo. I am a COMMUNICATIONS MAJOR. I NEED to be in contact with PEOPLE. 

Marlene McKinnon: 😗😗😗

Dorcas Meadowes: There, there..

Mary MacDonald: Thanksssss

Okay!!!!!! I’m off to fix our friends up!!!!

Marlene McKinnon: 🍀🍀🍀

Dorcas Meadowes: Good luck!!

**Whatsapp Group Chat: WHO RUN THE WORLD**

Lily Evans: I hate you all.

Marlene McKinnon: Wat did we do? 

Dorcas Meadowes: We’re all the way down in London!!

Lily Evans: Mary’s silence is suspect and she never does anything like this without consulting you two. You’re all behind this. I know it. 

Mary MacDonald: Whatever are you talking about, best friend whom I love dearlyyyy?????

Lily Evans: I AM LOCKED IN YOUR GUEST BEDROOM WITH JAMES AND A BOX OF CONDOMS WTF MACDONALD!!!!

Mary MacDonald: The condoms were Sirius’ idea,,,, I told him it would only set us back, but he must’ve snuck them past me.... That’s on me.

Lily Evans: THIS ENTIRE THING IS ON YOU

Mary MacDonald: Okay, but have you asked yourself why James hasn’t jumped out the window yet?????

Lily Evans: BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS BARRED THE WINDOWS IN PREPARATION FOR THE THE CORONAVIRUS APOCALYPSE

Mary MacDonald: Riiiiight,,,, I keep forgetting they did that…. Our plan was more foolproof than I thought……

Lily Evans: Well.

I hope you all think about what you did and are ready to apologize.

Marlene McKinnon: Sorry, Lils!

Dorcas Meadowes: Sorry, Lily!!

Mary MacDonald: My sincerest apologies for the inconvenience…..

Lily Evans: Why do I feel like there’s a “but” coming on?

Mary MacDonald: Buuuuttttttt we’re not letting you out until you confess your feelings to each other and live happily ever after :))))

Lily Evans: I hate you all.

Mary MacDonald: xoxoxoxoxo

Lily scoffed at her screen and dumped her phone on the bed. "I should've known Mary was up to something when she said she'd be right back with her top secret face mask recipe." 

“I’m guessing she was no help,” said James.

“Maybe you should give it a try. She’s  _ your _ cousin.”

“Oh, that will just make it worse,” he laughed ruefully. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of Remus, but I think Mary changed out his number on my phone for the Italian restaurant on fifth.”

“You think?” Lily raised her eyebrows.

“The voice message kind of gave it away.” James chuckled, stepping closer as he talked.

Lily held up her hand. "Six feet apart, James."

"Neither of us have been anywhere besides each other's houses for almost a week --"

"Are you the chemist between us?"

"There's nothing more than empty sheets between --"

“How are you okay with this?” Lily frowned. “I mean, you’re the one who just broke up with Amy —”

“I mean, I didn’t get dumped — Wait, did  _ you _ get —”

“No —”

“Then why aren’t you okay with —” James stopped himself and turned away. “Never mind, stupid question.”

"Why…" Lily hesitated. "Why is it a stupid question?"

James ruffled his already mussed hair. "Well, I mean, you've told me how you felt and all… last year."

"Right," Lily exhaled. "Last year… James --"

"Mary?" Mrs. MacDonald jiggled the door knob.

"We're saved!" James laughed at the absurdity of the situation.

"Yeah!" Lily did a half-hearted fistpump in the air. 

Mrs. MacDonald let them out and sent them on their way. 

**Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Mary MacDonald**

James Potter: see if i ever change a lightbulb for you when you *really* need it.

Mary MacDonald: Bold of you to assume I'll ever need you to change a lightbulb for me!!!!!!

James Potter: that did not warrant that many exclamation points.

Mary MacDonald: Bold of you to assume I care!!!!!

**Whatsapp Group Chat: The Golden Trio**

James Potter: mary locked lily and me in one of her guest bedrooms and it was so awkward what do i do??

Sirius Black: I take it you didn't use the condoms then.

James Potter: NO WE DIDN'T USE THE BLOODY CONDOMS THANK YOU VERY MUCH

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH MORE AWKWARD IT MADE ME FEEL TO SMUGGLE THEM OUT IN MY JACKET SO THAT AUNTIE WOULDN'T GET THE WRONG IDEA

AND BEFORE YOU ASK, NO YOU CANNOT HAVE THEM BACK I'M SAVING THEM UP TO DECORATE THE NEXT BACHELOR'S PARTY I GET INVITED TO

Sirius Black: No need to howl it at me, Christ.

James Potter: my name is james not jesus.

Remus Lupin: Also, you've never been invited to a bachelor's party.

James Potter: you're missing the point.

Remus Lupin: I thought the point was the sexual tension between you and Lily.

James Potter: THERE IS NO SEXUAL TENSION BETWEEN ME AND LILY

THERE'S JUST THE NORMAL AWKWARD TENSION I DON'T UNDERSTAND

it was like… i feel like our banter went from playful to one-sided ornery (coming from her side) to non-existent! 

Sirius Black: Hey, Remus, are you actually Lily?

Remus Lupin: No, Sirius, are *you* actually Lily?

Sirius Black: Nope, so James, I think you should ask actual Lily what's up if you really want to get to the bottom of this.

James Potter: i hate you both.

Sirius Black: And yet I am 50% confident that I will be best man at your wedding.

James Potter: that's… not very confident??

Remus Lupin: The other 50% is me being the best man at your wedding.

James Potter: don't test me or i WILL ask arthur or ted.

Remus Lupin: So you admit you and Lily will be getting married then?

James Potter: is it just me or have you gotten more snarky since you started dating sirius?

Sirius Black: I've taught him well.

Remus Lupin: You didn't teach me shit, I was always like this. The pandemic just makes it more socially acceptable to cope using snark.

Sirius Black: Why am I attracted to that?

Remus Lupin: ;)))

James Potter: NOT IN THE GROUP CHAT

**Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

James Potter: sirius and remus are getting it on in our group chat. can i hide here please?

Lily Evans: This… is a chat space??

James Potter: yes, i know that, can i hide here?

Lily Evans: i… guess??

James Potter: brill. nice talking to you by the way.

Lily Evans: And it is always amusing talking to you, James.

James Potter: i do aim to please :)

Lily Evans: That you do.

AIM TO PLEASE!!! 

I MEAN!

NOT THAT YOU PLEASE ME BUT NOT THAT YOU AREN'T PLEASING

James Potter: you're a right comedian, you are.

Lily Evans: That doesn't make me feel any better about my word vomit.

James Potter: *virtual hugs and head pats*

Lily Evans: Thanks XD

James Potter: you're welcome :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To my U.S. readers: my heart goes out to you today. whatever happens, i hope you know that you can be resilient. you can be kind. and you are heard. xx


	23. Why Everyone Thinks You Have a Crush on Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a healthy dose of sirius in honour of his birthday today :) i like to think he would see the humor in having a birthday on the same day as a very high-stakes election...
> 
> this chapter is for MxPadfoot, who really, really, really wanted me to bring Peter back xx

**Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Sirius Black**

James Potter: hey, can i have a real conversation with you for a sec?

Sirius Black: I wasn’t aware we’d been living in the Matrix this whole time.

Sorry, had to make that joke. It was right there. Go ahead.

James Potter: i talked to peter the other day. 

Sirius Black: Hold on.

**Whatsapp Chat: Sirius Black, Lily Evans**

Sirius Black: So my best friend and my mortal enemy walk into a bar… 

Lily Evans: It’s fine. They’re standing 6 feet apart. Your best friend is not in any danger.

Sirius Black: Your apocalypse humor is still going strong, I see.

Lily Evans: I’ve been spending too much time cooped up with you lot is why.

**Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Sirius Black**

James Potter: just so you know i told him that under no uncertain terms could we be friends again.

well, ok i didn’t actually say that, but it was implied. 

well, ok it wasn’t really implied, but if he wanted to read into it pessimistically it could mean that.

although it was probably dampened by the fact that i was texting to check up on him and his mum.

Sirius Black: Hold on.

**Whatsapp Chat: Sirius Black, Lily Evans**

Lily Evans: Anyway, continue with your joke. 

Sirius Black: I wish. 

James checked up on Peter and his mum.

Lily Evans: That… is not out of character.

Sirius Black: WHAT ARE WE, FIGMENTS OF SOMEONE’S IMAGINATION?? ONLY BROUGHT TO LIFE ON THE PAGE?? IT DOESN’T MATTER WHETHER IT’S IN OR OUT OF CHARACTER! I DON’T WANT TO DEVELOP! I LIKE ME JUST THE WAY I AM BECAUSE I HAVE SELF-CONFIDENCE!

Lily Evans: I just think it was a nice thing for James to do.

Sirius Black: Of course you bloody would, you’re in love with the bastard, the traitor.

Lily Evans: I know you don’t mean that.

Sirius Black: You can read my mind now, can you?

Lily Evans: I mean, it’s not like reading 18th-century lit. It’s more like… primary grade?

Sirius Black: I’ll have you know out of the two of us, I’m the one who would even *begin* to understand 18th-century lit. And do you really think insulting me is gonna help you convince me not to be upset about this?

Lily Evans: You’ve just admitted that you want to be convinced not to be upset about this, so I’m gonna go with… yeah?

Sirius Black: Damn, for someone without psychology training, you’re good. 

Lily Evans: Like I said, primary grade.

Sirius Black: Don’t push it, Evans. You still have to convince me. 

Lily Evans: Challenge accepted.

**Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Sirius Black**

_ James Potter is typing… _

_ James Potter is typing… _

_ James Potter is typing… _

Sirius Black: Will you quit it and just hold on for one goddamn second.

James Potter: sorry, take your time.

Sirius Black: Thank you.

**Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Remus Lupin**

James Potter: sirius was just polite to me. help.

Remus Lupin: Are you sure he wasn’t being sarcastic?

_ James Potter has sent an attachment. _

Remus Lupin: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU GIVE A RAT’S ARSE ABOUT THAT TRAITOR, TRAITOR??

James Potter: IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO

i saw his mum in the news for her kickstarter campaign

they both lost their jobs

he didn’t even ask for money or help or anything when we talked. and he apologized!

Remus Lupin: You know they have a saying about karma, right?

James Potter: you’re a scientist. you don’t believe in fate.

Remus Lupin: No, but I believe that HE FUCKED US OVER AND WAS PREPARED TO WALK AWAY.

James Potter: ok.

**Whatsapp Chat: Sirius Black, Lily Evans**

Lily Evans: I know you don’t trust Peter, but do you trust James?

Sirius Black: With my life. 

Which is probably not a good idea considering how he leaves himself open like this.

Lily Evans: Peter hasn’t asked for money or any kind of help, though.

Sirius Black: WAIT I DON’T KNOW THAT.

**Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Sirius Black**

Sirius Black: Did Peter ask for money or any kind of help??

James Potter: no. he only apologized for what he did. said he missed us.

**Whatsapp Chat: Sirius Black, Lily Evans**

Sirius Black: Ok, it’s fine. Continue.

Lily Evans: So, if you trust James as he is, you can’t really be mad at him for being himself and doing the right thing. 

Sirius Black: You would let traitors walk all over you too?? By gods, you two are a match made in heaven. 

Nowhere else will you find a pair so gullible.

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

_ Sirius Black is typing... _

Sirius Black: So kind, so precious.

Lily Evans: Nice save. 

Sirius Black: Yeah, that was a close one. 

Lily Evans: Any lingering anger?

Sirius Black: Nope, I’m good. Thanks, Evans. I should probably talk to Remus now. He's angry-texting me about the same thing.

Lily Evans: Anytime, Black.

**Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

James Potter: hey, sorry to bother you. i did something stupid and i don’t think sirius or remus will ever forgive me.

Lily Evans: I thought you were dumb, not stupid.

James Potter: me too.

Lily Evans: James, all kidding aside, not being the smartest person in the room is not something you have to apologize for. Ever. 

You’re kind, you’re compassionate, and you make people feel like they’re worthy of the space they take up. If you weren’t any of that, then yeah, I can see cause for an apology. But you are, and Sirius and Remus know that. 

James Potter: ok, i have a cool response and an uncool response, which would you like to hear first?

Lily Evans: Cool, so that I can laugh at your so-called definition of the word.

James Potter: see this is why everyone thinks you have a crush on me. 

evans? 

are you afk?

that was the cool response.

ok, i’m going to assume you’re rofl rn.

Lily Evans: Yup, I’m back now. And the uncool response? 

James Potter: thank you. xx.

Lily Evans: Awww, you’re welcome! <3

James Potter: :)

Lily Evans: :)

James Potter: also, you’re not gonna ask what this was about?

Lily Evans: Were you planning on not telling me?

James Potter: I checked up on Peter and his mum.

_ James Potter is typing... _

Lily Evans: Oh, that! Yeah, I wouldn’t worry about Sirius too much. I just ran through Damage Control Protocol with him. He should be contacting you imminently.

James Potter: you… have a DCP for him too?

Lily Evans: Several. I’m honestly surprised you just have one.

James Potter: we need to compare notes sometime. 

Lily Evans: I’ll assemble the highlighters.

James Potter: i can see sixth-form lily evans now, sitting in her childhood bedroom with seven different color-coded notebooks dedicated to DCP logs. you’re quite adorable.

Lily Evans: And *this* is why everyone thinks *you* have a crush on me.

James Potter: ;) ;)

**Whatsapp Group Chat: WHO RUN THE WORLD**

Lily Evans: James just winked at me what do I say?

Mary MacDonald: Do you have something in your eye?????

Then say “Let me get that for you” and give him a kiss. 

Lily Evans: ON HIS EYE???

And also he texted the winks, so that won’t work on principle!!!

Marlene McKinnon: Wait, > 1?

Lily Evans: Two.

Dorcas Meadowes: Two more than one??

Lily Evans: NO JUST TWO DAMMIT DOES IT MAKE A DIFFERENCE?? HURRY UP BEFORE I LEAVE HIM ON READ FOR TOO LONG!!!

Marlene McKinnon: Wink back ;)

Dorcas Meadowes: Tell him you love him.

Mary MacDonald: My advice still stands.

Lily Evans: Why do I even bother?

**Whatsapp Group Chat: The Golden Trio**

Sirius Black: I hereby nominate James Potter for the Friend of the Year Award, who will second the nomination?

Remus Lupin: I second the nomination!

Sirius Black: Then it is settled, I hereby declare James Potter the Friend of the Year!

James Potter: i’m so glad you’re not mad at me, lads. thank you for understanding. 

maybe one day we can all reconnect with peter and start over.

Remus Lupin: Eh, let’s not be hasty. 

Sirius Black: There will be apple crumble in the kitchen to celebrate. You’re all invited.

Remus Lupin: OMW.

James Potter: *i* bought the apple crumble yesterday??

Sirius Black: It’s the thought that counts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think, lovelies!


	24. If You Asked Me To

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *If You Asked Me To by Celine Dion plays in the background*
> 
> thank you to women-inthe-sequel for helping me brainstorm this xx

**@glassesarethenewgold posted for the first time in a while.**

Lily’s thumb leaped on the notification like a demented cat. 

Video-James cleared his throat. His hair was all floofy — yes, floofy, not fluffy or poofy because there’s fluffy and poofy separately but then there’s  _ floofy _ and Lily doesn’t have time to explain this because —

“Morning, all,” he spoke gruffly.

Lily felt her entire body tingle at the sound. 

“Great Big Announcement coming your way, so you’d better sit down.” He smiled cheekily at the camera. “Gryffindor Acappella is hosting a Zoom concert a month from today and there’s going to be all your favorite songs from the seventies to present day, something for everyone, it’s good family fun this summer — link in my bio to attend — there’s a paywall but I  _ promise _ it’s for some excellent causes,” James went on to list the various charities that they would be supporting, mostly food banks, grassroots organizations that were making and distributing masks, and of course, NHS Charities Together. “Thank you so much, and we hope to see you there!” 

**Whatsapp Group Chat: WHO RUN THE WORLD**

_ Lily Evans has sent an attachment.  _

Lily Evans: You’re all coming, right?

Marlene McKinnon: Duh.

Dorcas Meadowes: Of course!!

Mary MacDonald: Hmmmmmm,,, I don’t knowwwww,,,,, wouldn’t want to steal your thunderrrrr

Lily Evans: ???

Mary MacDonald: Well, if we all go, James will be like, “How nice, my friends and tough-love cousin are here to support me,” but if *you* go, James will be like, “How nice, the girl of my dreams is here to support meeeeee”

Lily Evans: It’s! For! Charity!

It’s about making a difference!

Mary MacDonald: So you didn’t turn on post-notifs for him specificallyyyy?????

Lily Evans: I have post-notifs on for all my close friends!

Dorcas Meadowes: Your exclamation points make you look like a liar.

Lily Evans: I have post-notifs on for all my close friends.

Marlene McKinnon: 2 late, lmao

Lily Evans: Okay, fine, yes, I know that he’s the brains behind the whole event now that Amelia’s graduated and he was voted in. 

Mary MacDonald: Aaaaaannnddd?????

Lily Evans: And kindness is so fucking attractive on him, like what the fuck, how is it so attractive on him???

Marlene McKinnon: Just watched the vid. It’s the morning voice, innit?

Dorcas Meadowes: Could also be the tank top.. Lily has a thing for collarbones, remember?

Lily Evans: NOT HELPING!!!

Mary MacDonald: Please just tell him how you feel before you spontaneously combust from sexual frustration.

Lily Evans: I am not

What 

NO

Mary!

Marlene McKinnon: I told Dory I <3 her over text :)

Dorcas Meadowes: She used full words and everything!! It was soo romantic!!

Marlene McKinnon: & Sirius told Remus over text 2!

Dorcas Meadowes: Then Remus told him back!!

Mary MacDonald: Seeeee????? I give great advice ;)))))

Lily Evans: How would I even begin???

Mary MacDonald: You: Hey. Him: what’s up? You: I love you. Him: i love you too. will you marry me? You: Let’s not be hasty. Him: cool, cool, just checking! have i mentioned that i love you too?

Lily Evans: -_-

**Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

_ Lily Evans is typing… _

_ Lily Evans is typing…  _

James Potter: hey, you ok?

Lily Evans: i love you.

Next door to the MacDonald’s, in the Potter household, Algernon was rudely awakened when James leaped off his bed like the (expensive) memory foam mattress had burned him and stepped on Al’s tail. 

“Sorry! Sorry!” James hopped towards the window facing the MacDonalds’ house. He could see Lily’s bright red hair standing out among his dark-haired cousins’ in the living room. 

She was staring at her phone, chewing her bottom lip. She was so adorable. And she loved him.

_ And she loved him. _

_ Holy mother of cows, she loved him. _

He looked back down at his phone and tried to come up with a reply that wasn’t, “If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.” (He knew she was reading through her Jane Austen collection again and would appreciate the reference, but he also felt like this was their love story and it deserved something original.) 

**Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

_ Lily Evans is typing... _

Lily Evans: You don’t have to say anything right now, or ever. If you want we can pretend this never happened because I value our friendship too much to let anything get in the way of it like before… You didn’t… and I think that’s part of the reason why I love you now. 

You always put others first. 

You have a wonderful disposition.

You care deeply without reservation.

And I don’t know what makes me think that I could be The Person in your life who puts you first and who never fails to put you in a good mood and who loves you for everything you are but also everything you’re not… but I want to be. I want to learn to be if you’ll let me. 

James Potter: i love you too. 

i’m sorry i don’t have a more eloquent reply on hand... you’d think i would after years of loving you but i think that love’s changed and grown with us, so i can never pin it down to one single declaration. 

i just thought i’d better say something already since it seems like you’re freaking out a little over there :)

let’s just say that if you asked me to, i would do or not do, be or not be anything you wanted, no questions asked. i trust you with my life, my love, my everything.

wow, that’s a lot of cheese… at least i know you’re not lactose intolerant, haha

Lily Evans: You were doing so well up until you called yourself out. I happen to love cheese.

James Potter: and i happen to love you <3

Lily Evans: Smooth. <3

James Potter: snagged yourself a fine lad, didn’t you, evans? ;)

Lily Evans: Shhh, don’t ruin it.

James Potter: you love me.

and you can’t deny it because now i know the truth 0:)

Lily Evans: Please quit while you’re ahead 0:)

James Potter: oh, how thou woundeth me, my love!

Lily Evans: Please don’t disrespect the Bard like that.

James Potter: you’ve been spending too much time with sirius. 

Lily Evans: What are you gonna do about it?

James Potter: smooth. <3

can i call you?

Lily Evans: Always. <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh, how cute are they. i can't. it's too much. you deal with them now. let me know how it goes XD
> 
> also, lily really be out there, reclaiming "always" for the fandom, as you do ;)


	25. I'll Go the Distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Slow Burn by Kacey Musgraves plays in the background as we all ride into the sunset*

After telling their respective friend groups and family members about their newfound relationship status, James and Lily were surprised to find that everything went back to normal. Well, as normal as the year 2020 could ever be. 

James performed brilliantly with Gryffindor Acapella and they even took audience requests. 

Lily asked for Toxic by Britney Spears and Sirius conveniently appeared in the background to say he had a flight attendant's costume available from days of Halloween's past, so James pretty much had to wear it. 

It became a minor TikTok hit.

Mary and Benjy took a break because, "Long-distance just doesn't work for free-spirits like us." (Mary's words.) 

Benjy started posting a suspicious amount of shirtless fencing 'lessons' on his TikTok and eventually, Mary was so consumed by jealousy, they got back together. (And then broke up again, and then got back together.)

A link to a Spotify playlist containing just one Taylor Swift song in particular was left in Benjy's DMs one day and Mary reveled in her independence.

Marlene and Dorcas celebrated their anniversary party over Zoom all the way from London. And so did Wolfstar. (Yes, they finally found a better ship name than Luck or Sirimus or Remius.)

And as for Jily's one month anniversary...

**Whatsapp Chat: James Potter, Lily Evans**

James Potter: *you're still the one starts playing in the background*

Lily Evans: When I first saw you, I saw love

And the first time you touched me, I felt love

And after all this time

You're still the one I love, mmm, yeah-yeah

James Potter: did you… just copy-paste that from google?

Lily Evans: Yes?

James Potter: zoom karaoke contest. tonight. winner takes all.

Lily Evans: Of what, though?

James Potter: i'll give you my netflix password if i win and you give me your disney+?

Lily Evans: Deal.

Yeah, they officially graduated to sharing streaming service passwords, everyone's milestones are different, okay? 

In the fall, Lily continued TAing from home and every time Snape would attempt to join her help session on Google Meet, she simply denied him entry. (She swore it gave her almost as much euphoria as cancelling plans she didn't want to make in the first place.) Not being able to go to labs was somewhat disheartening, but she agreed with her university's assessment that it was better safe than sorry.

The Marauders did eventually start talking to Peter again on an individual basis and then in a separate group chat from The Golden Trio. They gave him the idea to start a cooking from home YouTube channel, but when he accidentally cut his finger off, the kitchen turned into a horror film. 

He had been livestreaming too.

Somehow that made his channel even more popular than any of them could have ever fathomed. 

**Whatsapp Group Chat: The Marauders**

Peter Pettigrew: O.M.G. Guess who just DMed me!!!

James Potter: Beyonce.

Sirius Black: You capitalize for Beyonce, really? Not the love of your life? Not your best friends? Not 

James Potter: sirius?

are you afk?

are you ok?

are you there?

did you get distracted by the squirrels by the fountain?

please tell them to stop competing with the birds. there is a perfectly good oak tree out front.

Remus Lupin: I apologize on both their behalfs. Congratulations on getting DMed by Gordon Ramsey, Pete.

Sirius Black: I'm not sorry!!!

Peter Pettigrew: How did u know???

Remus Lupin: You posted it on your Stories before texting us?

Peter Pettigrew: Oh, right, lol

Sirius Black: I think one of the squirrels is actually a chipmunk and the others just adopted him.

The tails don't match.

_ Sirius Black has sent an attachment. _

Remus Lupin: Squirrels are highly territorial. They wouldn't just adopt another animal of a different species like it was

Peter Pettigrew: Does this happen a lot now?

James Potter: apparently. also that is such a cute adopted chipmunk. no wonder they couldn't resist. i have to show lily.

Lily went on to work for the startup think tank that produced some of the most accurate COVID-19 testing kits in Europe.

James started his own online-based psychology practice, specializing in helping people with disaster-induced trauma.

Remus added an Education minor to his degree part-way through and taught A-levels Psychology, replacing some self-absorbed shrink from L.A. who kept misquoting Freud.

Sirius continued writing thoughtful, humorous articles, becoming quite a controversial voice in the journalism space. People figured he got away with it more because he was handsome, male, and white. He wrote an article about that too, but that just made his supporters even more, well, supportive.

He also came out to the public in that article.

And then walked into Remus' classroom the very next day to give a guest lecture on psychology in the media. (Featuring shameless flirting with the teacher, winks, and lip-biting. None of the students realize they're already together until the end of the term when Sirius picks Remus up on his motorbike and they ride off into the literal sunset because it's after 4 p.m. in winter.)

Mary wrote for Sparknotes and Buzzfeed to "help the kiddies study from home." Lily maintains that Mary's articles are some of the most distracting. No one should've been able to justify that many pictures of kissing as being "related" to Shakespeare. 

Marlene became a graphics designer for Google and ended up specializing in emojis and Google Doodles. Dorcas was the developer who brought her designs to life. They kept their office romance hidden from H.R. until they realized there was a betting pool on when they'd get together. Then they made sure the caterer and lover of cat emojis, Arabella Figg, "won."

**Whatsapp Group Chat: Sirius' Surprise Birthday Party**

_ Sirius Black has added James Potter, Remus Lupin, Lily Evans, Mary MacDonald, Marlene McKinnon, Dorcas Meadowes, Peter Pettigrew to the chat. _

_ Sirius Black has left the chat. _

Lily Evans: Did he really just do that?

James Potter: honestly, respect.

Remus Lupin: I vote chocolate cake.

Mary MacDonald: Isn't that your favourite???????

Remus Lupin: And I'm his favourite, ergo, chocolate cake is his favourite.

Peter Pettigrew: Did he really just do that?

Dorcas Meadowes: Honestly,, respect..

Marlene McKinnon: 👌👌👌

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *James Potter voice* HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PADFOOT, OLD CHAP! *stops to push glasses up his face*
> 
> thank you all soooo much for going the distance with me! thank you xo_marauders once again for being the best beta ever! this was a joy to write and it's gotten me through some of the worst parts of my 2020 — YOU'VE gotten me through, so thank you :) 
> 
> don't be a stranger! you can find me on Tumblr [@littlejeanniebean](https://littlejeanniebean.tumblr.com/) and you can find more of my Jily / Marauders fics right here on Ao3! talk to you soon xx


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